All RODNEY DANGERFIELD Quotes about “Drinking”

“My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.”
“My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.”
“My life is nothing but pressure. All pressure. This pressure is like a heaviness. It's always on top of me, this heaviness. It's always there since I'm a kid. Other people wake up in the morning, 'A new day! Ah, up and at 'em!' I wake up, the heaviness is waiting for me nice. Sometimes I even talk to it. I say [adopts cheerful voice] 'Hi, heaviness!' and the heaviness looks back at me, [in an ominous growl] 'Today you're gonna get it good. You'll be drinking early today.'”
“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.”
“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.”
“I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.”
“I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.”
“I told my doctor, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills" and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.”
“I told my doctor, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills" and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.”

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