Funny Anti Valentines Day Quotes:

You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. Of all the people you will know in the lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave or lose.

- Jo Coudert

source: Jo Coudert (2003). “Advice from a Failure”, p.131, iUniverse

topic: Self Esteem, People, Needs, Singles, Single Man

I'm single because I was born that way.

- Mae West

topic: Sarcastic, Witty, Freedom, Singles, Singleness

I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.

- Warsan Shire

topic: Lonely, Being Alone, Lovely, Singles, Lonely Women

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

- Jay Leno

topic: Funny, Romantic, Valentines Day, Humorous Valentine, Singles

Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.

- Lewis Black

topic: Valentine, Holiday, Special, Special Someone, Funny Valentines Day

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

- H. L. Mencken

topic: Love, Anniversary, War, War Love, Love You Forever

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.

- Jon Stewart

topic: Funny, Valentine, Mean, Funny Valentines Day, Funny Anti Valentines Day

You cannot be with someone just because you don’t want to hurt him. You have your own happiness to think about.

- Melissa de la Cruz

source: Melissa de la Cruz (2010). “The Van Alen Legacy: Number 4 in series”, p.148, Hachette UK

topic: Happiness, Hurt, Thinking, Happy Love, Funny Anti Valentines Day

Being single is pretty good. It's a nice sense of irresponsibility.

- Michael Douglas

topic: Single, Nice, Being Single, Singles, Irresponsibility

Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.

- Sarah Jessica Parker

topic: Sexy, Being Single, Mean, Singles, Single Girl

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

- Dorothy Parker

topic: Funny, Anniversary, Valentines Day, Humor Love, Humorous Love

At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!

- Joan Rivers

topic: Heart, Age, Bypass, Singles, Cute Funny Valentines Day

We fall in love when our imagination projects nonexistent perfection upon another person. One day, the fantasy evaporates and with it, love dies.

- Jose Ortega y Gasset

topic: Sarcastic, Falling In Love, Valentine, Funny Anti Valentines Day, Anti Love

If love means never having to say you're sorry, then marriage means always having to say everything twice.

- Estelle Getty

topic: Sorry, Mean, Love Means, Funny Anti Valentines Day, Funny Single Valentines Day

Vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.

- Larry Adler

source: Larry Adler, Philip Judge (1994). “Me and My Big Mouth”, Blake Pub

topic: Sorry, Mean, Vasectomy, Need Love, Sorry For Him

There is a terrible hunger for love. We all experience that in our lives - the pain, the loneliness. We must have the courage to recognize it. The poor you may have right in your own family. Find them. Love them.

- Mother Teresa

topic: Love, Mother, Pain, Hunger For Love, Poor Family

The only difference between the women I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

- Richard Jeni

topic: Nuts, Differences, Firsts, Funny Anti Valentines Day, Anti Valentine

Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.

- Candace Bushnell

topic: Love, Single, Butterfly, Singles, Single Relationship

Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.

- L. Frank Baum

source: "Fictional character: The Wizard of Oz". "The Wizard of Oz", www.imdb.com. August 12, 1939.

topic: Love, Break Up, Broken Heart, Unbreakable, Wicked Witch

To love blindly is to love selfishly, because the goal of such love is not the real advantage of the beloved but only the exercise of love in our own souls.

- Thomas Merton

source: Thomas Merton (2005). “No Man is an Island”, p.3, Shambhala Publications

topic: Real, Being Single, Being Alone, Funny Anti Valentines Day, Anti Valentine

I regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world operates according to different rules than my regular human world.

- Mindy Kaling

source: "Flick Chicks" by Mindy Kaling, www.newyorker.com. October 3, 2011.

topic: Being Single, Being Alone, Different, Funny Anti Valentines Day, Anti Valentine

Love is like war; easy to begin, hard to end.

- Ann Brashares

source: FaceBook post by Ann Brashares from Apr 08, 2013

topic: Life, Funny Love, War, War Love, Love Is Like

To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.

- Bess Myerson

topic: Broken Heart, Falling In Love, Simple, Humor Love, Mending A Broken Heart

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

- W. Somerset Maugham

topic: Love, Sarcastic, Depressing, Humorous Love, Dirty Business

Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed.

- Laurell K. Hamilton

source: Laurell K. Hamilton (2011). “Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter collection 6-10”, p.1106, Penguin

topic: Love, Valentines Day, Sarcastic, Anita Blake, Funny Anti Love

Avant-garde means never having to say you're sorry.

- Marc Ribot

topic: Sorry, Mean, Avant Garde, Need Love, Sorry For Him

For the taxable investor, indexing means never having to say you're sorry.

- William J. Bernstein

topic: Sorry, Mean, Investing, Need Love, Sorry For Him

Being an American means never having to say you're sorry.

- Kurt Vonnegut

topic: Sorry, Mean, Need Love, Sorry For Him, Vasectomy

I won`t cry for you, my mascara`s too expensive

- Adriana Lima

topic: Cute, Cry, Mascara, Funny Anti Valentines Day, Anti Valentine

They do not love that do not show their love. The course of true love never did run smooth. Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love.

- William Shakespeare

topic: Love, Running, Angel, Most Memorable, Mid Summer Nights Dream

When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.

- Elizabeth Gilbert

topic: Lonely, Loneliness, Being Single, Loneliness In Life, Eat Pray And Love

Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience.

- Elizabeth Gilbert

topic: Loneliness, Maps, Way, Loneliness In Life, Eat Pray And Love

You're not a coward just because you don't want to hurt people.

- Veronica Roth

topic: Hurt, People, Coward, Funny Anti Valentines Day, Funny Single Valentines Day

Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love.

- William Shakespeare

topic: Love, Men, Confusion, Humorous Valentine, Love You Like