Short Drinking Quotes:

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

- Ernest Hemingway

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Intelligent Man, Irish Beer

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

- Humphrey Bogart

topic: Book, Drinking, Beer, Irish Beer, Brewing

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

- George Burns

topic: Clever, Drinking, Drunk, Liquor Funny, Drinking And Driving

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

- W. C. Fields

topic: Inspirational, Funny, Believe, Drinking Beer, Drinking Party

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Funny, Witty, Work, Irish Beer, Irish Drinking

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

- Dylan Thomas

source: Dictionary of 20th Century Quotations quoted by Nigel Rees. Fontana London (1987)

topic: Funny, Drinking, Wine, Soft Drinks, Alcoholism

Life is too short to drink bad wine.

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

topic: Life Is Too Short, Wine, Vineyards, Life's Too Short, Life Is Way Too Short

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

- W. C. Fields

topic: Funny, Drinking, Book, Drinking And Driving, Drinkers

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

- Henry Lawson

topic: Party, Drinking, Beer, Irish Beer, Brewing

I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.

- Miguel de Cervantes

topic: Drinking, Sometimes, Drink, Drinkers, Wine Toast

They who drink beer will think beer.

- Washington Irving

topic: Funny, Witty, Drinking, Drinkers, Whiskey Drinking

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

- W. C. Fields

topic: Strong, Drinking, Exercise, Gin And Tonic, Gin

Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass! Down with the beer!

- Louis Untermeyer

source: Louis Untermeyer (1930). “Blue Rhine, Black Forest: A Hand- & Day-book”

topic: Beer, Glasses, Whiskey Drinking, Brewing Beer, Short Beer

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

- Dean Martin

source: In Paul Dickson Official Rules (1978) p. 112

topic: Clever, Lying, Humorous, Alcoholism, Drinkers

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

- Dave Barry

source: "Vegetable Magnetism" by Dave Barry, www.washingtonpost.com. March 17, 1991.

topic: Fun, Drinking, Book, Ale, Lager

Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

- Winston Churchill

topic: Drinking, Beer, Wife, Drinking Alcohol, Funny Bar

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Crazy, Book, Reading, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

- W. C. Fields

topic: Drinking, Beer, Reality, Drinking Beer, Drinking Funny

Life's too short to drink bad wine or smoke poor cigars.

- Don Johnson

topic: Wine, Cigar, Drink, Life's Too Short, Vineyards

I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.

- Bette Midler

topic: Drinking, Drunk, Perspective, Drinking Alcohol, Drinking Party

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

- Dorothy Parker

source: "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Drinking, Two, Alcohol, Gin, Drinking Alcohol

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

- Frank Zappa

topic: Funny, Country, Football, Irish Beer, Brewing

I decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with friends. I've lost 30 pounds.

- Ernest Hemingway

topic: Drinking, Beer, Pounds, Stop Drinking, Short Beer

Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working.

- Hal Foster

topic: Drinking, Beer, Enjoy, Craft Beer, Funny Beer Drinking

A pleasant aperitif, as well as a good chaser for a short quick whiskey, as well again for a fine supper drink, is beer.

- M. F. K. Fisher

topic: Beer, Whiskey, Drink, Chasers, Brewing

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.

- Nancy Astor

topic: Husband, Alcohol, Poison, Your Husband, Wives And Mothers

An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.

- Confucius

topic: Philosophical, Government, Profound, Oppressive Governments, Superior Man

God has a brown voice, as soft and full as beer.

- Anne Sexton

topic: Beer, Voice, Squash, Ale, Drinks And Love