Silly Stupid Quotes:

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

- Harlan Ellison

source: Harlan Ellison, Arnie Fenner (2011). “Bugf#ck: The Useless Wit & Wisdom of Harlan Ellison”

topic: Funny, Life, Stupid, Being Stupid, Stupid Funny

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

- Albert Einstein

topic: Funny, Hilarious, Education, Not Stupid, Infinite Intelligence

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

- Brooke Shields

source: Testimony at House of Representatives hearings on cigarette advertising, 25 June 1981

topic: Funny, Life, Witty, Really Stupid, Very Stupid

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

- Jason Kidd

topic: Teamwork, Sports, Witty, Sports Team, Funniest Sports

Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

- Mariah Carey

source: "The X Factor - Mariah Carey night - LIVE!!!" by Heidi Stephens, www.theguardian.com. November 8, 2008.

topic: Funny, Money, Stupid, Really Stupid, Stupidest

Is this chicken what I have or is this fish? I know it's tuna. But it says chicken. By the sea.

- Jessica Simpson

source: "Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica". www.imdb.com. 2003.

topic: Stupid, Tuna Fish, Sea, Really Stupid, Stupidest

Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Money, Clever, Stupid, Being Stupid, Stupid Things

I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.

- Al Gore

topic: Funny, Witty, Regret, Really Stupid, Latin America

My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.

- Chuck Nevitt

topic: Sports, Baby, Uncles, Sports Stars, Stupid Celebrity

I owe a lot to my parents, especially by mother and my father.

- Greg Norman

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Mother, Father, Golf, Favorite Sports, Funniest Sports

Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.

- Dan Duva

topic: Funny, Years, Dumb, Dumb Sports, Really Dumb

We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads.

- Vlade Divac

topic: Funny, Dumb, Information, Really Stupid, Silly Stupid

So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

- Christina Aguilera

topic: Funny, Movie, Stupid, Really Stupid, Cannes

Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.

- Dennis Rodman

topic: Funny, Sports, School, Funniest Sports, Stupid Sports

I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.

- Dan Quayle

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Funny, Witty, Phoenix, Stupid Conservative, Stupid Funny

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.

- Marion Barry

source: Quoted in Chicago Tribune, 28 Mar. 1989

topic: Funny, Country, Stupid, Stupid Celebrity, Stupid Funny

You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours.

- Yogi Berra

source: "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Funny, Death, Hilarious, Yankees Baseball, Stupid Funny

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

- Yogi Berra

topic: Funny, Happiness, Travel, Inspirational Adventure Time, Funniest Sports

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.

- Dizzy Dean

source: "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Funny, Baseball, Doctors, Stupid Funny, Stupidest Celebrity

The internet is a great way to get on the net.

- Bob Dole

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Funny, Stupid, Technology, Really Stupid, Stupid Celebrity

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

- Samuel Goldwyn

topic: Funny, Movie, Silly, Clever And Witty, Funny Oxymoron

A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

- Samuel Goldwyn

source: "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Funny, Witty, Stupid, Stupid Funny, Single Man

Of course a politician's promise isn't worth the paper it's written on.

- Russell Pearce

topic: Promise, Paper, Politician, Funny Oxymoron, Silly Stupid

The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies.

- Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

topic: Lying, Stupid, Military, Check Yourself, Silly Stupid

First of all, to defend my work, I had to believe that I am doing a totally silly, stupid, innocent comedy.

- Milos Forman

topic: Stupid, Silly, Believe, Silly Stupid

Joy is the response of a lover receiving what he loves. This is the joy we feel when skiing powder… This overflowing gratitude is what produces the absolutely stupid, silly grins that we always flash at one another at the bottom of a powder run. We all agree that we never see these grins anywhere else in life.

- Dolores LaChapelle

topic: Running, Gratitude, Stupid, Silly Stupid