After Divorce Quotes:

What we wait around a lifetime for with one person, we can find in a moment with someone else.

- Stephanie Klein

source: Twitter post from Sep 22, 2015

topic: Relationship, Waiting, Moments, Inspirational Divorce, Funny Divorce

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

- Helen Rowland

topic: Love, Relationship, Money, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.

- Mary Blakely

source: Mary Kay Blakely (1995). “American Mom: Motherhood, Politics, and Humble Pie”, p.125, Simon and Schuster

topic: Divorce, Bypass, Psychological, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

The possibility of divorce renders both marriage partners stricter in their observance of the duties they owe to each other. Divorces help to improve morals and to increase the population.

- Denis Diderot

source: Denis Diderot (1966). “Selected Writings”, New York : Macmillan

topic: Divorce, Population, Literature, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.

- P. J. O'Rourke

source: P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.122, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

topic: Marriage, Sympathy, Divorce, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

- Jean Kerr

source: Jean Kerr (1965). “Mary, Mary”, p.19, Dramatists Play Service Inc

topic: Inspirational, Life, Marriage, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.

- Abraham Lincoln

topic: God, Patriotic, Divorce, Kindred, After Divorce

Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash.

- Rita Mae Brown

topic: Divorce, Heartfelt, Tragedy, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.

- Gary Chapman

topic: Divorce, Skills, People, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

The gem cannot be polished without friction nor man without trials.

- Confucius

topic: Inspirational, Men, Trials, Inspirational Achievement, Inspirational Adversity

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.

- Woody Allen

topic: Single, Divorce, Vacation, Funny Divorce, After Divorce

Half of all marriages end in divorce- and then there are the really unhappy ones.

- Joan Rivers

topic: Breakup, Divorce, Unhappy, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

Americans, who make more of marrying for love than any other people, also break up more of their marriages, but the figure reflects not so much the failure of love as the determination of people not to live without it.

- Morton Hunt

topic: Marriage, Breakup, Determination, Marriage Divorce, Moving On After Breakup

When people divorce, it's always such a tragedy. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse.

- Monica Bellucci

topic: Divorce, People, Together, Divorce Lawyers, After Divorce

The obvious effect of frivolous divorce will be frivolous marriage. If people can be separated for no reason they will feel it all the easier to be united for no reason.

- Gilbert K. Chesterton

topic: Divorce, People, Reason, After Divorce, Frivolous

Any woman who votes for no-fault divorce is like a turkey voting for Thanksgiving.

- Pat Robertson

topic: Divorce, Turkeys, Voting, After Divorce, Happy Divorce

Regret and fear are twin thieves that rob us of today.

- Bob Hastings

topic: Regret, Divorce, Thieves, Inspirational Divorce, After Divorce

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

- Jean Kerr

source: Jean Kerr (1965). “Mary, Mary”, p.33, Dramatists Play Service Inc

topic: Jobs, Divorce, Friendly, Morticians, Divorce Lawyers

I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as Canada was to the slaves of brutal masters.

- Susan B. Anthony

topic: Mean, Divorce, Men, Inspirational Divorce, Divorce Lawyers

Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Let me tell you, honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.

- Larry Gelbart

source: "M*A*S*H. Season 3. Bulletin Board". TV Series,

topic: Funny, Witty, Divorce, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

- Lewis Grizzard

topic: Funny, Marriage, Hilarious, Getting Married, Good Sex

A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short.

- Mickey Rooney

topic: Divorce, Thinking, People, After Divorce, Going Through Divorce

Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.

- Evan Esar

topic: Divorce, Play, People, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

A new study found that women gain more weight after marriage, but men gain more weight after a divorce. Yeah, the divorce usually takes place after men point out that women gained more weight after marriage.

- Jimmy Fallon

topic: Divorce, Men, Weight, After Divorce, Going Through Divorce

Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.

- Evan Esar

topic: Husband, Divorce, After Divorce, Getting A Divorce, Going Through Divorce

Marriage is grand. Divorce is about twenty grand.

- Jay Leno

topic: Divorce, Twenties, After Divorce

I find to my astonishment that an unhappy marriage goes on being unhappy when it is over.

- Rebecca West

topic: Divorce, Unhappy, Happy Marriage, Being Unhappy, After Divorce

Thank God you can flee, can escape from that massy five-foot-thick maggot-cheesy solidarity which overlays the earth, in which men and women in couples are ranked like ninepins.

- William Faulkner

source: William Faulkner (1951). “Absalom, Absalom!”

topic: Couple, Divorce, Men, After Divorce, Happy Divorce

I can't get divorced because I'm a Catholic. Catholics don't get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended.

- Lenny Clarke

topic: Funny, Divorce, Hatred, Festering, Funny Divorce

To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy Mansion for a while.

- James Caan

source: "James Caan: What I've Learned". Interview with Ross Johnson, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

topic: Funny, Divorce, Playboy, Funny Divorce, After Divorce

Divorced men are more likely to meet their car payments than their child support obligations.

- Susan Faludi

topic: Children, Divorce, Men, Car Payments, After Divorce

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

- Ambrose Bierce

topic: Divorce, Diplomatic Relations, Boundaries, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book.

- Marvin Mitchelson

topic: Book, Divorce, Law, Law Books, Divorce Lawyers

There are four stages to marriage. First there's the affair, then there's the marriage, then children, and finally the fourth stage, without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.

- Norman Mailer

source: News Summaries, December 31, 1969.

topic: Children, Divorce, Cynical, Funny Divorce, After Divorce

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced.

- Elinor Glyn

topic: Husband, Divorce, Wife, Funny Divorce, After Divorce

Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.

- Evan Esar

topic: Divorce, Two, Firsts, Incompatibility, Syllables

Divorce these days is a religious vow, as if the proper offspring of marriage.

- Tertullian

topic: Religious, Divorce, Vow, Marriage Divorce, Religious Love

Winning isn't the end of the world

- David Pleat

topic: Winning, World, End Of The World, Inspirational Moving On, Inspiring Cancer

In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers.

- Garry Trudeau

topic: Spring, Divorce, Thinking, Palm Springs, Divorce Lawyers

You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat.

- Mike Tyson

topic: Sleep, Divorce, Cutting, Inspirational Divorce, Funny Divorce

A society's apprehensiveness about divorce is an expression of its fear of change and of its resulting desire that personality remain unvarying.

- Elsie Clews Parsons

source: Elsie Clews Parsons (1997). “Fear and Conventionality”, p.138, University of Chicago Press

topic: Divorce, Expression, Personality, After Divorce, Fear Of Change

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

- Alfred Lord Tennyson

source: Song: Punish Me, Album: Capital Punishment, 1998

topic: Love, Life, Break Up, Hurting Him, Back Together

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.

- Helen Rowland

source: A Guide to Men "Divorces" (1922)

topic: Love, Divorce, Literature, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.

- Albert Einstein

topic: Inspirational, Life, Moving On, Time To Move On, Cycle Of Life

Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.

- Jennifer Weiner

source: Jennifer Weiner (2010). “Fly Away Home”, p.362, Simon and Schuster

topic: Funny, Children, Teaching, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

- Doug Larson

topic: Marriage, Might, Sometimes, Marriage Advice For Newlyweds, Marriage And Divorce

Divorce is an embarrassing public admission of defeat.

- Tracy Letts

source: Tracy Letts (2008). “August: Osage County (TCG Edition)”, p.78, Theatre Communications Group

topic: Divorce, Defeat, Embarrassing, Inspirational Divorce, After Divorce

For a couple with young children, divorce seldom comes as a "solution" to stress, only as a way to end one form of pain and accept another.

- Fred Rogers

topic: Couple, Pain, Children, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce.

- John Kenneth Galbraith

topic: Divorce, Firsts, Life Is, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce