Funny Mother Quotes:
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
topic: Funny, Family, Mom, Love Mom, Young Mother
topic: Mom, Mother, Fall, Joys Of Motherhood, Inspirational Mom
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
topic: Funny, Hilarious, Mom, Being A Mother, Inspirational Mom
topic: Funny, Mom, Mother, Being A Mother, Delicious Food
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
topic: Daughter, Mother, Women, Funny Mother, Castles In The Air
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
topic: Funny, Mothers Day, Mom, Mom And Daughter, Joys Of Motherhood
Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother.
topic: Mom, Mother, Appliances, Mom And Daughter, Mother And Daughter
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
topic: Funny, Mom, Mother, Funny Mother, Funny Mothers Day
Youth fades, love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother's secret hope outlives them all.
topic: Mothers Day, Mom, Hope, Mom And Daughter, I Love My Mother
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
topic: Mothers Day, Mom, Baby, Just A Mom, Love Mom
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
topic: Funny, Mom, Mother, Special Mother, Just A Mom
A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
source: Her Son's Wife ch. 37 (1926)
topic: Mother, Unnecessary, Persons, I Love My Mother, Just A Mom
No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.
source: Measure of my Days (1968) p. 16
topic: Mother, Children, Age, Middle Aged, Being A Mother
There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.
topic: Inspirational, Mother, Perfect, Mom And Daughter, I Love My Mother
Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.
source: Lisa Alther (2010). “Other Women”, p.36, Open Road Media
topic: Mom, Mother, Jobs, Inspirational Mom, Inspirational Motherhood
OF COURSE I'd like to be the ideal mother. But I'm too busy raising children.
topic: Mother, Children, Parenting, Funny Mother, Funny Motherhood
topic: Love, Family, Mom, Mom And Daughter, I Love My Mother
topic: Mom, Children, Mean, Inspirational Father, Mother's Day
Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.
topic: Family, Mom, Mother, Joys Of Motherhood, Special Mother
source: "They're not laughing now". www.theguardian.com. December 29, 2003. 
topic: Mom, Mother, Baby, Plastic Bags, Funny Mother
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
topic: Family, Mothers Day, Mom, Joys Of Motherhood, Special Mother
The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom.
topic: Family, Mom, Mother, Mom And Daughter, I Love My Mother
topic: Children, Effort, Parent, Mimicking, Being Polite
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
topic: Smile, Mothers Day, Mom, Cute Funny, Happy Mothers Day
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
topic: Funny, Mother, Humor, Funny Mother, Funny Motherhood
The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing.
topic: Funny, Uplifting, Mom, Mother And Baby, My Baby Boy
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
topic: Love, Funny, Mother, Mom And Child, Mother And Child
topic: Inspirational, Mothers Day, Mom, Yes Or No, Being A Mother
topic: Inspirational, Funny, Hilarious, Being A Mother, Mothering
topic: Family, Mothers Day, Mom, Mom And Daughter, Happy Children
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.
topic: Love, Family, Marriage, I Love My Mother, Just A Mom
Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
topic: Family, Mom, Mother, Inspirational Motherhood, Inspirational Mothers
topic: Basketball, Mother, Pay, Certificates, Funny Mother
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
topic: Funny, Hilarious, Mom, Mom And Daughter, Joys Of Motherhood
A mother has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
topic: Mother, Children, Thinking, Mom And Daughter, I Love My Mother
A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them.
topic: Mom, Mother, Baby, Mother Son, Mom And Daughter
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
topic: Family, Mom, Mother, Just A Mom, Love Mom
Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.
topic: Mom, Mother, Children, Inspirational Motherhood, Inspirational Mothers
I'm a mother with two small children, so I don't take as much crap as I used to.
topic: Mom, Mother, Children, Funny Mother
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
topic: Mom, Children, Said, Love Mom, Gifted Children
Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.
topic: Inspirational, Mom, Mother, Mom And Daughter, Joys Of Motherhood
topic: Friendship, Mother, Twilight, Funny Mother, Funny Mothers Day
She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along.
source: "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
topic: Mom, Children, Home, Joys Of Motherhood, Just A Mom
Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first.
source: Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.39, BookBaby
topic: Mom, Baby, Parent, Funny Mother, Funny Mothers Day