Funny Mothers Day Quotes:
Parenthood is the passing of a baton, followed by a lifelong disagreement as to who dropped it.
topic: Parent, Funny Mothers Day, Passing, Disagreement, Baton
topic: Inspirational, Mothers Day, Mom, Yes Or No, Being A Mother
God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.
topic: Mothers Day, God, Christian, Jewish Mother, Special Mother
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
topic: Funny, Family, Mom, Perfect Parents, Raising Kids
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
topic: Mothers Day, Mom, Baby, Just A Mom, Love Mom
topic: Family, Mothers Day, Mom, Mom And Daughter, Happy Children
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
topic: Funny, Hilarious, Mom, Mom And Daughter, Joys Of Motherhood
Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.
topic: Mom, Mother, Children, Inspirational Motherhood, Inspirational Mothers
source: "They're not laughing now". www.theguardian.com. December 29, 2003. 
topic: Mom, Mother, Baby, Plastic Bags, Funny Mother
Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother
topic: Mother, Parenting, Rights, Inspirational Mom, Inspirational Motherhood
OF COURSE I'd like to be the ideal mother. But I'm too busy raising children.
topic: Mother, Children, Parenting, Funny Mother, Funny Motherhood
topic: Mom, Mother, Teacher, I Love My Mother, Just A Mom
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
topic: Funny, Hilarious, Mom, Being A Mother, Inspirational Mom
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
topic: Funny, Family, Mom, Love Mom, Young Mother
I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
topic: Family, Mothers Day, Mom, Mom And Daughter, Joys Of Motherhood
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
topic: Funny, Mom, Mother, Funny Mother, Funny Mothers Day
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
topic: Funny, Mothers Day, Mom, Mom And Daughter, Joys Of Motherhood
topic: Friendship, Mother, Twilight, Funny Mother, Funny Mothers Day
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.
source: William Makepeace Thackeray (1853). “Vanity Fair: A Novel Without a Hero”, p.317
topic: Family, Mothers Day, God, Mom And Daughter, Special Mother
topic: Children, Effort, Parent, Mimicking, Being Polite
topic: Basketball, Mother, Pay, Certificates, Funny Mother
Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it.
topic: Parent, Age, Generations, Younger Generation, Happy Mothers Day
No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.
source: Measure of my Days (1968) p. 16
topic: Mother, Children, Age, Middle Aged, Being A Mother
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
topic: Family, Mothers Day, Mom, Joys Of Motherhood, Special Mother
A mother who is really a mother is never free.
topic: Mothers Day, Mother, Parenting, Mother Care, Mother Proverbs
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
topic: Smile, Mothers Day, Mom, Cute Funny, Happy Mothers Day
Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.
topic: Family, Mom, Mother, Joys Of Motherhood, Special Mother
topic: Family, Mom, Mother, Mother Son, Mom And Daughter
The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom.
topic: Family, Mom, Mother, Mom And Daughter, I Love My Mother
Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first.
source: Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.39, BookBaby
topic: Mom, Baby, Parent, Funny Mother, Funny Mothers Day
A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
source: Her Son's Wife ch. 37 (1926)
topic: Mother, Unnecessary, Persons, I Love My Mother, Just A Mom
topic: Mom, Children, Mean, Inspirational Father, Mother's Day
Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
topic: Family, Mom, Mother, Inspirational Motherhood, Inspirational Mothers
I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
topic: Funny, Mothers Day, Children, Funny Mothers Day
topic: Love, Family, Mom, Mom And Daughter, I Love My Mother
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
topic: Mother, House, Sorrow, Funny Thanksgiving Day, Funny Mothers Day
The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing.
topic: Funny, Uplifting, Mom, Mother And Baby, My Baby Boy
When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she'd just make enough for 16 and only serve half.
topic: Mom, Mother, Justice, Mother's Day, Mother Flower
I was always at peace because of the way my mom treated me.
topic: Mom, Way, My Mom, Your Mom, Mother Care
There is nothing in the world of art like the songs mother used to sing.
topic: Mom, Mother, Song, Mothers Day Messages, Happy Mothers Day
topic: Family, Happiness, Mom, Beacons, Just A Mom
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
topic: Family, Mom, Mother, Just A Mom, Love Mom
source: P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.113, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.
topic: Funny, Children, Food, Funny Mothers Day, Funny Parenting
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
topic: Funny, Sarcastic, Daughter, Mom And Daughter, Mother And Daughter
topic: Mother, Food, Patriotic, Eating Food, Broccoli