Funny Politician Quotes:

There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough U.S. congressmen.

- Sydney J. Harris

topic: Voting, Democracy, Republican, Politicians And Politics, Congressman

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

- Will Rogers

topic: Change, People, Insightful, Political Humor, Politics Funny

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

- Mark Twain

topic: Funny, Life, Sarcastic, Limited Government, Legislative Branch

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

- Oscar Ameringer

topic: Art, Campaigns, Politics, Money In Politics, Political Corruption

In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well.

- Len Deighton

topic: Air, Mexico, Noise, Politics Funny, Funny Political

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.

- Clarence Darrow

source: Quoted in Irving Stone, Clarence Darrow for the Defense (1941)

topic: Funny, Sarcastic, Believe, Funny Sarcastic, Presidents Day

Power is like being a lady... if you have to tell people you are, you aren't.

- Margaret Thatcher

source: Margaret Thatcher, Iain Dale (1997). “As I said to Denis--: the Margaret Thatcher book of quotations”, Robson Book Ltd

topic: Leadership, Business, Women, Top Management, Personal Power

Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote.

- George Jean Nathan

topic: Freedom, Democracy, Citizens, Inspirational Voting, Good Political

Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.

- Richard Armour

topic: Years, Long, Greed, Politicians And Politics, Funny Politician

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

- Plato

topic: Politics, Ends, Penalties, Participating, Limiting Freedom

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

- Winston Churchill

topic: Funny, Humorous, Years, War Victory, Going To War

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

- George W. Bush

source: "You've been a great audience ..." by Oliver Burkeman, www.theguardian.com. January 7, 2009.

topic: Nature, Children, Humorous, Stupid Celebrity, Stupid Funny

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

- Ambrose Bierce

topic: Evil, Political, Wish, Statesmanship, Enamored

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

- Ambrose Bierce

source: Ambrose Bierce (2009). “The Devil's Dictionary: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.271, ReadHowYouWant.com

topic: Greed, Political, Nerd, Interest In Politics, Politicians And Politics

I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.

- Al Gore

topic: Funny, Witty, Regret, Really Stupid, Latin America

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history.

- Dan Quayle

topic: Holocaust, Periods, Obscene, Stupid Funny, Dumb Celebrity

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

- Dan Quayle

topic: Funny, Witty, Political, City Of Chicago, Politics Funny

For NASA, space is still a high priority.

- Dan Quayle

source: Esquire, Remarks to NASA employees, August 1992.

topic: Funny, Witty, Science, Nasa, Politics Funny

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

- Texas Guinan

source: Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

topic: Country, Politics, Politician, Politics Funny, Laying Down

I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.

- Dan Quayle

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Funny, Witty, Phoenix, Stupid Conservative, Stupid Funny

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

- Doug Larson

topic: Keys, Cities, Giving, Political Change, Political Humor

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

- Groucho Marx

topic: Art, Freedom, Political, Political Art, Political History

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

- Plato

topic: Smart, Human Nature, Interest In Politics, Political Humor, Political Wisdom

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

- George Bernard Shaw

topic: Sarcastic, Thinking, Careers, Professional Career, Career Politicians

When the Liberals said they were going to create a million new jobs, I didn't think they were all going to be tax collectors. If you can't convince them, confuse them.

- Harry S. Truman

topic: Jobs, Thinking, New Job, Status Updates, Funny Bumper Sticker

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

- Aesop

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Witty, Government, Office, Good Political, Politicians And Politics

I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

- Charles de Gaulle

topic: Life, Politics, Matter, Politicians And Politics, Politics Funny

Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party

- Winston Churchill

source: Winston Churchill (2001). “The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill”, Michael O'Mara Books

topic: Witty, Party, Men, Opposition Parties, Political Change

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

- P. J. O'Rourke

topic: Witty, Funny Inspirational, Government, Money In Politics, Limited Freedom

Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream.

- Rush Limbaugh

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Feminist, Feminism, Dumb Things, Stupid Conservative, Women Bashing

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.

- Emma Goldman

topic: Political, Voting, Nerd, Inspirational Voting, Elections And Voting

Truth is not determined by majority vote.

- Douglas Gwyn

source: "Why not pick *nice* places for the Usenix conventions?". Douglas Gwyn's post in USENET newsgroup comp.org.usenix, groups.google.com. July 3, 1991.

topic: Truth, Majority, Determined, Majority Vote, Funny Politician