Funny Bumper Sticker Quotes:
I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
source: "I Had the Right to Remain Silent...But I Didn't Have the Ability". Book by Ron White, June 6, 2006.
topic: Funny Life, Silent, Funny Bumper Sticker, You Can't Fix Stupid
The more you complain the longer God lets you live
topic: Complaining, Serious, Funny Bumper Sticker, Religious Humor
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com. 
topic: Dazzle, Bulls, Brilliance, Social Skills, Funny Bumper Sticker
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
topic: Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness, Humorous Birthday, Mature And Immature
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
source: Statement on April 14, 1775. "Life of Samuel Johnson". Book by James Boswell. Volume II, 1791.
topic: Wisdom, Writing, Procrastination, Swedish, Inspiration To Write
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
topic: Drinking, Alcohol, Inventory, Funny Bumper Sticker, Drinking Alcohol
source: Ayn Rand (2011). “Ayn Rand Novel Collection”, p.2340, Penguin
topic: Strength, Courage, Philosophy, Inspirational Strength, Korean War
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
topic: Funny, Successful, Men, Unsuccessful, Successful Man
Don't steal - the government hates competition!
topic: Hate, Government, Competition, Funny Bumper Sticker
If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
topic: Brilliant, Enjoy, Wells, Funny Bumper Sticker
Pressure is something you feel when you do not know what you are doing.
source: Robert Bresson (2016). “Notes on the Cinematograph”, p.38, New York Review of Books
topic: Basketball, Coaching, Pressure, Top Management, Man In The Moon
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
topic: Time, Food, Bird, Early Bird, Swiss Cheese
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
topic: Funny, Children, Money Isn't Everything, Funny Bumper Sticker, Worrying About Money
When you don't know what you're doing, fake it.
topic: Funny Inspirational, Funny Motivational, Top Management, Man In The Moon, Recording Studio
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
topic: Funny, Fall, Humor, Funny Bumper Sticker, Funny Question
The road to hell is paved with leeks and potatoes
topic: Potatoes, Hell, Swedish, Inspiration To Write, Writing Fiction
Don't take life too seriously.
source: RuPaul (2010). “Workin' It!: RuPaul's Guide to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Style”, p.12, Harper Collins
topic: Life, Sarcastic, Funny Inspirational, Meaning Life, Life Being Too Short
God created whammy bars for people who don't know how to solo.
topic: Fishing, People, Bars, Funny Bumper Sticker, Angling
The road to Hell is paved with unbought stuffed dogs.
source: Ernest Hemingway (2016). “The Sun Also Rises”, p.37, Hamilton Books
topic: Dog, Writing, Sisterhood, Swedish, Inspiration To Write
If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
topic: God, Running, Worry, Murphys Law, Funny Bumper Sticker
You're at your best when you don't know what you're doing.
topic: Top Management, Man In The Moon, Recording Studio, It's A Wonderful Life, Living In A Small Town
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
topic: Funny, People, Alive, Funny Bumper Sticker, Funny One Liner
He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
topic: Next, Exit, Lost, Funny Bumper Sticker
Smile. it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
source: Jill Shalvis (2011). “Head Over Heels”, p.100, Hachette UK
topic: Lips, Second Best, Keep Smiling, Just Keep Smiling, Kissing You
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't somebody watching.
topic: Mean, Paranoid, Funny Bumper Sticker, Dresden, Dresden Files
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.
topic: Funny, Sarcastic, Humble, Funny Bumper Sticker
topic: Life, Money, Love You, Need Money, Special Places
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.
topic: Funny, Life, Halloween, Funny Bumper Sticker, Dresden
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
topic: Funny, Business, Clever, Jet Engines, Inspirational Office
I like visiting LA, but I wouldn't want to live there.
topic: Want, Visiting, Funny Bumper Sticker, Past Present Future Love
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
topic: Inspirational, Funny, Birthday, Funny Bumper Sticker
The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress.
topic: Writing, Progress, Hell, Swedish, Inspiration To Write
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
topic: Death, Suicide, Half, Funny Bumper Sticker
Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
topic: Funny, Crazy, Missing, Lost Things, Funny Bumper Sticker
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
topic: Nature, Philosophy, Stupid, Never Underestimate, Stupid Life
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
topic: Inspirational, Money, Math, Money And Happiness, Gamble
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
topic: Sleep, Naps, Annoying, Funny Bumper Sticker, Sleep Well
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
topic: Mind, Minutes, Of My Mind, Funny Bumper Sticker, Funny One Liner
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
topic: Love, Missing You, Thinking Of You, Relatable, Just Thinking Of You
I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.
topic: Bumper Sticker, Carrots, Chains, Funny Bumper Sticker, Food Chain
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
topic: Funny, Hilarious, Witty, Funny Bumper Sticker, Funny One Liner
If you don't like the news go out and make some of your own.
source: "Danny Schechter, 'News Dissector' and Human Rights Activist, Dies at 72" by Sam Roberts, www.nytimes.com. March 23, 2015.
topic: News, Funny Bumper Sticker, Bumper
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
topic: Fighting, Way, Vegetarian, Funny Bumper Sticker, Food Chain
I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.
topic: Insanity, Suffering, Minutes, Funny Bumper Sticker, Funny One Liner
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most [borrowed from Mark Twain]
topic: Missing, Mind, Bumper Sticker, Lost Things, Funny Bumper Sticker