Funny Wedding Anniversary Quotes:

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

- Mignon McLaughlin

source: Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.32, BookBaby

topic: Love, Relationship, Anniversary, Husband Love, Husband To Be

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

- Rita Rudner

topic: Love, Funny, Marriage, Humorous Love, Humorous Valentine

We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.

- Robert Fulghum

source: "True Love". Book by Robert Fulghum, 1997.

topic: Love, Funny, Life, Marriage Toast, Inspirational Romance

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

- Sam Kinison

source: Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

topic: Marriage, Wedding Anniversary, Years, Marriage Humor, Marriage Jokes

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

- Phyllis Diller

source: Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints (1966)

topic: Funny, Anniversary, Marriage, Humorous Valentine, Marriage Advice

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

- Robert A. Heinlein

source: Robert A. Heinlein (1987). “Stranger in a Strange Land”, p.340, Penguin

topic: Love, Life, Positive, Great Feelings, Always Happy

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

- Doug Larson

topic: Marriage, Might, Sometimes, Marriage Advice For Newlyweds, Marriage And Divorce

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

- Lyndon B. Johnson

topic: Inspirational, Funny, Life, Marriage Advice, Marriage Anniversary

A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

topic: Marriage, Men, Wife, Husband Wife, Marriage Humor

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

- Winston Churchill

topic: Love, Life, Marriage, Good Husband, Wedding Marriage

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

- Groucho Marx

source: "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Inspirational, Funny, Marriage, Marriage Jokes, Wonderful Experience

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx

topic: Funny, Marriage, Sarcastic, Humor Love, Jury

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Marriage, Letting Go, Hands, Marriage Humor, Marriage Jokes

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Love, Marriage, Secret, Husband To Be, Marriage Advice For Newlyweds

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

- Ogden Nash

source: Ogden Nash, “A Word To Husbands”

topic: Inspirational, Life, Inspirational Life, Marriage Advice, Marriage Advice For Newlyweds

True love stories never have endings.

- Richard Bach

topic: Love, Anniversary, Valentines Day, Marriage And Love Inspirational, Wedding Speech

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

- Peter De Vries

topic: Love, Marriage, Fall, Sweet Anniversary, Wedding Marriage

There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to the one you love.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Love, Relationship, Anniversary, Happy Anniversary, First Anniversary

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

- Joey Adams

source: Joey Adams (1957). “Cindy and I: The Real Life Adventures of Mr. and Mrs. Joey Adams”

topic: Funny, Marriage, Witty, Marriage Advice, Marriage Jokes

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

- Michel de Montaigne

topic: Marriage, Husband, Funny Relationship, Husband Love, Husband Wife

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

- Helen Rowland

source: Quoted in Evan Esar, The Dictionary of Humorous Quotations (1949)

topic: Funny, Marriage, Girl, Marriage Anniversary, Marriage Humor

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.

- S. J. Perelman

topic: Love, Anniversary, Valentines Day, Happy Anniversary, Funny Sex

Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning. Dream is also just a word until you decide to fight for it with all your enthusiasm and commitment

- Paulo Coelho

topic: Dream, Commitment, Fighting, Humorous Love, Marriage Anniversary

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.

- Peter De Vries

topic: Relationship, Anniversary, Marriage, Marriage Advice, Marriage Advice For Newlyweds

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

- Woody Allen

topic: Anniversary, Sex, Remember, Cigarette Smoke, Pipe Smoking

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

- Erma Bombeck

topic: Love, Marriage, Funny Relationship, Humor Love, Marriage Advice For Newlyweds

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

- Herbert V. Prochnow

topic: Birthday, Wife, Way, Humorous Birthday, Husband To Be

If I know what love is, it is because of you.

- Hermann Hesse

source: "Narcissus and Goldmund". Book by Hermann Hesse, 1930.

topic: Love, Life, Anniversary, Love Letter, Say I Love You

Are we not like two volumes of one book?

- Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

topic: Friendship, Book, Two, Bff, Togetherness

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?

- Barbra Streisand

topic: Inspirational, Funny, Success, Marriage Humor, Married Man

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

- Dorothy Parker

topic: Funny, Anniversary, Valentines Day, Humor Love, Humorous Love

You know you're in love when you stop comparing.

- Mason Cooley

topic: Love, Romantic, Wedding, Impress A Girl, Say I Love You