Golf Swing Quotes:

You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.

- Bobby Jones

topic: Golf, Thinking, Swings, Inspirational Golf, Great Golf

Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.

- Ben Hogan

source: Ben Hogan (2010). “Power Golf”, p.11, Simon and Schuster

topic: Golf, Hair, Swings, Inspirational Golf, Motivational Golf

I think the golf swing is all about rotation, all about trying to keep the club on plane.

- Tiger Woods

topic: Golf, Thinking, Swings, Rotation, Golf Swing

Having a great golf swing helps under pressure, but golf is a game about scoring. It's like an artist who can get a two-inch brush at Wal-Mart for 20 cents or a fine camel-hair brush from an art store for 20 dollars. The brush doesn't matter - how the finished painting looks is what matters.

- Jerry Pate

topic: Art, Golf, Swings, Golf Swing

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.

- Phyllis Diller

topic: Retirement, Real, Golf, Funny Golf, Funny Golfing

The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.

- John Updike

topic: Golf, Swings, Trying, Great Golf, Golf Jokes

I don't believe there is anything like a natural golf swing. A golf swing is an unnatural thing, and it has to be developed.

- Ben Hogan

topic: Believe, Golf, Swings, Golf Swing

It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot.

- Nubar Gulbenkian

topic: Golf, Player, Remember, Good Golf, Golf Swing

Swing hard in case you hit it.

- Dan Marino

topic: Golf, Swings, Cases, Humorous Golf, Baseball Games

Tempo is the glue that sticks all elements of the golf swing together.

- Nick Faldo

topic: Golf, Swings, Together, Tempo, Golf Swing

The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

- George Deukmejian

topic: Funny, Lying, Golf, Humorous Golf, Inspirational Golf

Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.

- Paul Harvey

topic: Writing, Golf, Games, Inspirational Golf, Motivational Golf

The only thing you should force in a golf swing is the club back in the bag.

- Byron Nelson

topic: Golf, Swings, Bags, Golfing, Golf Swing

My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.

- Keith Michael

topic: Golf, Mind, Body, Funny Golfing, Golf Love

The moment the average golfer attempts to play from long grass or a bunker or from a difficult lie of any kind, he becomes a digger instead of a swinger.

- Bobby Jones

topic: Lying, Golf, Average, Long Grass, Playing Golf

The golf swing is among the most stressful and unnatural acts in sports, short of cheering for the Yankees.

- Brad Faxon

topic: Sports, Cheer, Golf, Golf Swing

While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

- Henny Youngman

source: "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Golf, Two, Balls, Humorous Golf, Golf Ball

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

- Tiger Woods

topic: Basketball, Sports, Fashion, Inspirational Golf, Funniest Sports

I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.

- Ben Crenshaw

topic: Distance, Golf, Ears, Funny Golf, Golf Jokes

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

- Woody Allen

topic: Sex, Fun, Laughing, Good Sex, Great Golf

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

- Lee Trevino

topic: Sports, Husband, Games, Humorous Golf, Funny Sports

Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything.

- Michael Bamberger

source: Michael Bamberger (2007). “This Golfing Life”, p.43, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

topic: Golf, Guitar, Tennis, Electric Guitar, Playing Golf

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

- Chi Chi Rodriguez

topic: Golf, Years, Play, Humorous Golf, Golf Ball

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

- Lee Trevino

topic: Golf, Swings, Lunch, Great Golf, Funny Golf

Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.

- Harry Vardon

topic: Funny, Golf, Play, Inspirational Golf, Funny Retirement

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

- Jim Bishop

topic: Funny, Retirement, Native American, Inspirational Golf, Motivational Golf

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

- Sam Snead

topic: Golf, Shadow, Balls, Humorous Golf, Golf Ball

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

- Jack Lemmon

topic: Sports, Dirty, Golf, Humorous Golf, Golf Ball

Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

- Lee Trevino

topic: Golf, World, Columbus, Great Golf, Funny Golfing

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

- Lee Trevino

source: Quoted in Scholastic Coach,'Coaches' Corner', Dec 1982.

topic: Golf, Games, Tomatoes, Humorous Golf, Golfing

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

- Lee Trevino

topic: Sports, Golf, Iron, Humorous Golf, Golf Ball

Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.

- Terry Pratchett

topic: Fun, Writing, Evolution, Good Sex, Great Golf

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

- Chi Chi Rodriguez

topic: Golf, Firsts, Bottles, Drank, Golf Jokes

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.

- Arnold Palmer

topic: Golf, Games, Strokes, Great Golf, Golfing

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.

- George Robertson, Baron Robertson of Port Ellen

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Golf, Swings, Practice, Humorous Golf, Great Golf

Golf is the only sport I know of where a player pays for every mistake. A man can muff a serve in tennis, miss a strike in baseball, or throw an incomplete pass in football and still have another chance to square himself. In golf, every swing counts against you.

- Lloyd Mangrum

topic: Sports, Football, Baseball, Golf Swing

Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.

- A. A. Milne

source: A. A. Milne (2012). “Not That it Matters”, p.22, The Floating Press

topic: Golf, Games, World, Inspirational Golf, Funny Golf

A golf swing is a collection of corrected mistakes.

- Carol Mann

topic: Mistake, Golf, Swings, Golf Swing

Forget the last shot. It takes so long to accept that you can't always replicate your swing. The only thing you can control is your attitude toward the next shot.

- Mark McCumber

topic: Attitude, Golf, Swings, Golf Life, Golf Swing

What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.

- Arnold Palmer

topic: Art, Athlete, Golf, Inspirational Golf, Motivational Golf

There is no movement in the golf swing so difficult that it cannot be made even more difficult by careful study and diligent practice.

- Tom Mulligan

topic: Golf, Swings, Practice, Golf Swing

It goes without saying that it is no good having a perfect setup, perfect grip and perfect golf swing if the whole thing is misaligned. It sounds obvious but many players simply do not spend enough time getting themselves on target.

- Nick Faldo

topic: Golf, Player, Swings, Golf Swing

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

- Jimmy Demaret

topic: Sex, Golf, Enjoy, Inspirational Golf, Great Golf

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

- Billy Graham

topic: Sports, Prayer, Golf, Inspirational Golf, Motivational Golf

Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.

- Jack Nicklaus

topic: Golf, Air, Years, Great Golf, Funny Golfing

Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.

- Chi Chi Rodriguez

topic: Fun, Golf, Clothes, Great Golf, Advertisement Negative

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

- Hank Aaron

topic: Funny, Sports, Baseball, Humorous Golf, Motivational Golf

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

- John Updike

topic: Children, Dirty, Golf, Inspirational Golf, Motivational Golf

Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling.

- Madonna Ciccone

topic: Sex, Fun, Golf, Good Sex, Great Golf

His driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays.

- Ian Baker-Finch

topic: Holiday, Golf, Driving, Golfing, Golf Swing