Great Golfing Quotes:

I've always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn't have a chance to win.

- Arnold Palmer

topic: Perseverance, Motivational Sports, Determination, Inspirational Coach, Inspirational Coaching

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.

- Ben Hogan

topic: Sports, Golf, Needs, Inspirational Golf, Motivational Golf

Forget your opponents; always play against par.

- Sam Snead

topic: Golf, Play, Opponents, Motivational Golf, Playing Golf

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

- Lee Trevino

topic: Golf, Swings, Lunch, Great Golf, Funny Golf

It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.

- Arnold Palmer

source: FaceBook post by Arnold Palmer from Oct 04, 2016

topic: Golf, Practice, Funny Things, Inspirational Golf, Sports Competition

A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave.

- Jack Nicklaus

topic: Growing Up, Kids, Golf, Inspirational Golf, Golfing

Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.

- Sam Snead

topic: Golf, Hazards, Worst, Occupational Hazards, Great Golf

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

- Hank Aaron

topic: Funny, Sports, Baseball, Humorous Golf, Motivational Golf

It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot.

- Nubar Gulbenkian

topic: Golf, Player, Remember, Good Golf, Golf Swing

Golf is a better game played downhill.

- Jack Nicklaus

topic: Golf, Games, Playing Golf, Golf Clubs, Golf Game

One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.

- George Archer

topic: Golf, Play, Great Golf, Good Golf, Golf Jokes

Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

- Winston Churchill

source: Winston Churchill (1987). “The Irrepressible Churchill: Stories, Sayings and Impressions of Sir Winston Churchill”, London : Robson Books

topic: Golf, Pills, Cows, Good Golf, Funny Golfing

Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent's.

- Grantland Rice

topic: Golf, Giving, Opponents, Great Golfing

Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.

- Terry Pratchett

topic: Fun, Writing, Evolution, Good Sex, Great Golf

One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot - the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something.

- Peter Jacobsen

topic: Golf, Cycle Of Life, Matter, Tees, Great Golf

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.

- Ben Hogan

topic: Golf, Air, Games, Humorous Golf, Great Golf

Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot.

- Dave Marr

topic: Golf, Three, Shots, Great Golf, Funny Golf

Golf is not, on the whole, a game for realists. By its exactitudes of measurements it invites the attention of perfectionists.

- Heywood Hale Broun

topic: Golf, Games, Measurement, Exactitude, Great Golf

Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling.

- Madonna Ciccone

topic: Sex, Fun, Golf, Good Sex, Great Golf

Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.

- Chi Chi Rodriguez

topic: Fun, Golf, Clothes, Great Golf, Advertisement Negative

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.

- Bruce Lansky

source: Bruce Lansky (2011). “Golf, It's Just a Game: The Best Quotes & Cartoons About Golf”, p.81, Simon and Schuster

topic: Golf, Talking, Balls, Golf Ball, Great Golf

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

- Woody Allen

topic: Sex, Fun, Laughing, Good Sex, Great Golf

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

- Chi Chi Rodriguez

topic: Golf, Firsts, Bottles, Drank, Golf Jokes

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

- Dean Martin

source: "Famous drinkers" by Rob Parker, www.theguardian.com. April 18, 2004.

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Funny Sarcastic, Inspirational Golf

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

- Chi Chi Rodriguez

topic: Golf, Years, Play, Humorous Golf, Golf Ball

The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

- George Deukmejian

topic: Funny, Lying, Golf, Humorous Golf, Inspirational Golf

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

- Sam Snead

topic: Golf, Shadow, Balls, Humorous Golf, Golf Ball

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

- Lee Trevino

topic: Real, Golf, Hands, Motivational Golf, Great Golf

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.

- Phyllis Diller

topic: Retirement, Real, Golf, Funny Golf, Funny Golfing

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.

- Pete Dye

topic: Funny, Golf, Play, Inspirational Golf, Playing Golf

Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.

- Arnold Palmer

source: FaceBook post by Arnold Palmer from Oct 04, 2016

topic: Sports, Hunger, Combination, Inspirational Golf, Funny Golfing

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.

- Sam Snead

topic: Sports, Golf, Knives, Humorous Golf, Inspirational Golf

May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.

- Ben Hogan

topic: Lying, Golf, Water, Golf Ball, Inspirational Golf

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

- Gerald R. Ford

topic: Golf, Eagles, Games, Golf Ball, Elk

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

- Bob Hope

topic: Golf, Play, Age, Humorous Golf, Playing Golf

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

- Earl Wilson

topic: Disappointment, Golf, Broken, Great Golf, Funny Golfing

Nobody asked how you looked, just what you shot.

- Sam Snead

topic: Golf, Shots, Motivational Golf, Great Golf, Golf Life

The more you play it the less you know about it.

- Patty Berg

topic: Golf, Play, Playing Golf, Great Golfing

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

- Chi Chi Rodriguez

topic: Golf, Bags, Woods, Great Golf, Funny Golfing

His driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays.

- Ian Baker-Finch

topic: Holiday, Golf, Driving, Golfing, Golf Swing

Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward.

- Ken Venturi

topic: Running, Art, Distance, Golf Humor, Golf Life

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

- Peter Dobereiner

topic: Fun, Golf, Other Half, Golf Putting, Great Golfing

I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.

- Chi Chi Rodriguez

topic: Golf, Missing, Helping, Great Golf, Good Golf

You are meant to play the ball as it lies, a fact that may help to touch on your own objective approach to life.

- Grantland Rice

topic: Lying, Golf, Play, Great Golfing

The woods are full of long drivers.

- Harvey Penick

source: Harvey Penick, Davis Love III (2012). “Harvey Penick's Little Red Book: Lessons And Teachings From A Lifetime In Golf”, p.29, Simon and Schuster

topic: Golf, Long, Woods, Great Golf, Golf Life

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

- P. J. O'Rourke

topic: Golf, Long Walks, Two, Humorous Golf, Funny Golfing

Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.

- Jack Nicklaus

topic: Golf, Air, Years, Great Golf, Funny Golfing

Never admit that your back goes out more than you do

- Joan Rivers

topic: Golf, Funny Golf, Great Golf, Great Golfing

You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.

- Bob Bruce

topic: Senior, Golf, Golfing, Great Golfing