Hilarious Happy Birthday Quotes:
May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine.
topic: Birthday, Music, Voice, 21st Birthday, Quotations Birthday Happy Birthday
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
source: Quoted in Garson Kanin, It Takes a Long Time to Become Young (1978)
topic: Birthday, Baseball, Fun, Staying Young, Inspirational Age
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
topic: Inspirational, Funny, Motivational, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
topic: Birthday, Wife, Way, Humorous Birthday, Husband To Be
Time and tide wait for no man.
topic: Inspirational, Birthday, Time, Humorous Birthday, Managing Time
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
topic: Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Inspirational, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young
The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
topic: Birthday, Funny Birthday, Funny Happy Birthday, Humorous Birthday, Milestone Birthday
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
topic: Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness, Humorous Birthday, Mature And Immature
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
topic: Birthday, Years, Age, Humorous Birthday, 40th Birthday
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
topic: Happy Birthday, Funny Inspirational, Humorous, Humorous Birthday, Birthday Cake
topic: Mind, Age, Matter, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young
Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.
topic: Funny, Birthday, Time, Humorous Birthday, Milestone Birthday
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
topic: Funny Inspirational, Women, Memorable, Status Updates, Whatsapp
Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
topic: Birthday, Wine, Turning 50, Oil And Vinegar, Best Wine
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
topic: Birthday, Growing Up, Carpe Diem, Humorous Birthday, Milestone Birthday
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
source: "Ohio's Sen. Glenn Won't Run Again In 1998" by Candy Crowley, www.cnn.com. 
topic: Birthday, Friends, Death, Humorous Birthday, Milestone Birthday
Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
topic: Birthday, Drinking, Wine, Vineyards, Oil And Vinegar
You're birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar..... Yung No Mo
topic: Birthday, Chinese, Scholar, Wise Birthday, Funny Birthday Wishes
topic: Birthday, Blow, Cake, Birthday Cake, Old Birthday
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
topic: Waiting, Lines, Funny Aging, Funny Happy Birthday, Waiting In Line
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
source: Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.135, Open Road Media
topic: Birthday, Marriage, Husband, Humorous Birthday, Quotations Birthday Happy Birthday
If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
topic: Birthday, People, Looks, Humorous Birthday, Fat People
Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese
topic: Funny, Age, Matter, Old Birthday, Funny Birthday
topic: Birthday, Travel, Carpe Diem, Long Way, Paved Roads
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
topic: Birthday, Congratulations, Age, Humorous Birthday, Inspirational Age