Funny Aging Quotes:

You're only as old as you feel.

- Paul Simonon

source: Source: rocknycliveandrecorded.com

topic: Happy Birthday, Birthday Wishes, Funny Aging, Quotations Birthday Happy Birthday, Funny Happy Birthday

It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

- Jill Shalvis

topic: Funny Life, Answers, Funny Aging

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

- Will Rogers

topic: Leaks, Funny Age, Funny Aging

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

- Norman Wisdom

source: "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Funny, Birthday, Memories, Memory Loss, Birthday Cake

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

- George Burns

topic: Birthday, People, Appreciate, Old Age Humor, Old Jokes

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

- Joey Adams

source: Joey Adams (1981). “Strictly for laughs”, A & W Publishers, Inc.

topic: Funny, Life, Birthday, Old Age Humor, Old Birthday

There is still no cure for the common birthday.

- John Glenn

source: "Ohio's Sen. Glenn Won't Run Again In 1998" by Candy Crowley, www.cnn.com.

topic: Birthday, Friends, Death, Humorous Birthday, Milestone Birthday

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

- Dr. Seuss

source: "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

topic: Inspirational Life, Be Who You Are, Mind, Keep Smiling, Way In Life

Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

- Arthur Schopenhauer

topic: Birthday, Congratulations, Age, Humorous Birthday, Inspirational Age

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

topic: Birthday, Beautiful, Art, Inspirational Age, Old Person

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

- Steven Wright

topic: Funny, Hilarious, Sarcastic, Life Humor, Funny Jokes

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.

- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

source: "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

topic: Funny, Humor, Years, Inspirational Age, Older People

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

- Will Rogers

topic: Lying, Age, Aging, Stop Lying, Funny Aging

Live your life and forget your age.

- Norman Vincent Peale

topic: Time, Live Your Life, Age, Inspirational Age, Just Live Your Life

The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.

- Robert Frost

topic: Love, Life, Morning, Funny Aging, Future Planning

It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.

- Brigitte Bardot

topic: Inspirational, Life, Sad, Humorous Birthday, Nice Day

The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.

- George Eliot

topic: Funny, Happy Birthday, Time, Milestone, Milestone Birthday

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

- George Burns

topic: Hilarious, Retirement, Ties, Stoops, Funny Retirement

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up, Humorous Birthday, Middle Aged

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.

- John Wagner

topic: Age, Aging, Staying Young, Old Age Humor, Growing Old

The older I get, the better I used to be.

- Lee Trevino

source: Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

topic: Golf, Used, Best Wine, Cabernet, Wine And Life

You can't turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.

- Bonnie Prudden

topic: Wind, Aging, Clock, Back In Time, Funny Age

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

- Lucille Ball

topic: Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Inspirational, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

- George Bernard Shaw

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Life, Motivational, Positive, Staying Young, Inspirational Age

The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.

- Madeleine L'Engle

topic: Birthday, Success, Nursing, Staying Young, Inspirational Age

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

- Jack Benny

topic: Mind, Age, Matter, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

- Mark Twain

topic: Inspirational, Funny, Motivational, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.

- Tom Wilson

topic: Happy Birthday, Wisdom, Silly, Old Jokes, Coming Of Age

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.

- Maurice Chevalier

source: Quoted in James B. Simpson, Contemporary Quotations (1964)

topic: Funny, Birthday, Health, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

- Phyllis Diller

source: Phyllis Diller (1981). “The joys of aging--and how to avoid them: can sex keep you young? And other silly questions”, Doubleday Books

topic: Cute, Birthday, Funny Relationship, Humorous Birthday, Old Age Humor

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

- Bob Hope

topic: Happy Birthday, Funny Inspirational, Humorous, Humorous Birthday, Birthday Cake

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.

- Victor Hugo

topic: Health, Medicine, 50th Birthday, Staying Young, Inspirational Age

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.

- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

topic: Birthday, Growing Up, Getting Older, Humorous Birthday, Old Birthday

Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.

- John Lennon

topic: Inspirational, Friendship, Birthday, Staying Young, Inspirational Age

Aging is not "lost youth" but a new stage of opportunity and strength.

- Betty Friedan

source: "How to live longer, better, wiser". Betty Friedan, Parade Magazine (pp. 4-6), March 20, 1994.

topic: Birthday, Strength, Inspiring, Staying Young, Inspirational Age

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

- Mark Twain

topic: Birthday, Age, Remember, Humorous Birthday, Witty Birthday

Your body changes, but you don't change at all. And that, of course, causes great confusion.

- Maggie Kuhn

topic: Confusion, Body, Causes, Growing Old, Funny Aging

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'

- Claude Pepper

topic: Funny, Hilarious, Laughter, Old Age Humor, Funny Age

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

- Will Rogers

topic: Waiting, Lines, Funny Aging, Funny Happy Birthday, Waiting In Line

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

- Mark Twain

topic: Inspirational, Birthday, Good Morning, Indication, Staying Young

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother.

- J. Norman Collie

topic: Grandmother, Grandchildren, Men, My Grandfather, Mother And Grandmother

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

- Chili Davis

topic: Birthday, Growing Up, Growing, Inspirational Age, Older People

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

- Dorothy Parker

topic: Birthday, Age, May, Quotations Birthday Happy Birthday, Ageing

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.

- Sophia Loren

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Life, Birthday, Uplifting, Staying Young, Inspirational Age

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

- Germaine Greer

topic: Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness, Humorous Birthday, Mature And Immature

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt, as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear.

- Paul H. Dunn

topic: Self Confidence, Self, Doubt, Old Soldiers, Growing Old

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

- Abraham Lincoln

topic: Inspirational, Life, Motivational, Life Wisdom, Live Life To Its Fullest

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

- Mark Twain

topic: Love, Funny, Motivational, Live And Learn, Inspirational Family Love

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

- Groucho Marx

source: Groucho Marx (2009). “Groucho And Me”, p.28, Da Capo Press

topic: Funny, Witty, Crazy, Old Age Humor, Wise Age

He who is of a calm and happy nature, will hardly feel the pressure of age

- Plato

topic: Optimism, Age, Pressure, Staying Young, Growing Old

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.

- H. H. Asquith

source: In Observer 15 Apr. 1923

topic: Birthday, Would Be, Littles, Funny Retirement, Wise Birthday