Alcohol And Life Quotes:

Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.

- Sammy Davis, Jr.

topic: Patience, Giving, Funny Sarcastic, Drinking Funny, Drinks And Love

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

- Seneca the Younger

topic: Alcohol, Madness, Drunkenness, Alcoholism, Intemperance

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

topic: New Year, Drinking, Beer, Inspirational Addiction Recovery, Liquor Funny

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

- W. C. Fields

source: "The Temperance Lecture" (radio broadcast) (1938)

topic: Drinking, Alcohol, Done, Liquor Funny, Don't Drink Alcohol

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Love, Inspirational, Funny, Ale, Lager

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

- Winston Churchill

topic: Drinking, Beer, Funny Sarcastic, Intervals, Rules Of Life

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

- Winston Churchill

topic: Military, Taken, Drinking, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off.

- Raymond Chandler

source: The Long Goodbye ch. 4 (1953)

topic: Girl, Drinking, Beer, Funny Sarcastic, Kissing A Girl

I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.

- Frida Kahlo

topic: Love, Drinking, Happy Friday, Drinking Alcohol, Alcohol And Life

When the wine is in, the wit is out.

- Thomas Becon

source: 'Catechism' (ed. J. Ayre, 1844) p. 375

topic: Drinking, Wine, Wit, Wine And Age, Alcohol And Life

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group". Salvation in a can!

- Leo Durocher

topic: Beer, Support, Six Packs, Support Groups, Whiskey Drinking

It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

source: F. Scott Fitzgerald (2007). “The Great Gatsby”, p.104, Broadview Press

topic: Inspirational, Drinking, Recovery, Irregularity, Drinks And Love

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.

- Kurt Cobain

topic: Waste, Wasting Time, Life Is, Waste Of Life, Drinking Party

I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.

- Sylvia Plath

source: Sylvia Plath (2016). “The Bell Jar”, p.8, Hamilton Books

topic: Powerful, Drinking, Thinking, Godlike, Don't Drink Alcohol

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

- Ambrose Bierce

topic: Two, Alcohol, Lightning, Drinking Alcohol, Drinking With Friends

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

- Albert Einstein

topic: Drinking, Alcohol, Inventory, Funny Bumper Sticker, Drinking Alcohol

I couldn't get myself to read the want ads. The thought of sitting in front of a man behind a desk and telling him that I wanted a job, that I was qualified for a job, was too much for me. Frankly, I was horrified by life, at what a man had to do simply in order to eat, sleep, and keep himself clothed. So I stayed in bed and drank. When you drank the world was still out there, but for the moment it didn't have you by the throat.

- Charles Bukowski

topic: Jobs, Sleep, Men, Drank, Alcohol And Life

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

- Phyllis Diller

topic: Fall, Drinking, Falling Down, Liquor Funny, Drinking Funny

A meal without wine is like a day without sun

- Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

topic: Wine, Meals, Sun, Italian Proverb, Best Wine

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

- George Best

source: "Best: Decline of the golden boy". news.bbc.co.uk. June 14, 2005.

topic: Soccer, Sports, Football, Funny Drinking, Funny Alcohol

What's drinking? A mere pause from thinking!

- Lord Byron

source: "The Deformed Transformed". Book by Lord Byron, 1824.

topic: Drinking, Food, Beer, Alcohol And Life, Alcohol Drinking

I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more.

- H. L. Mencken

topic: Drinking, Alcohol, Want, Teetotalers, Alcohol And Life

Don't trust people who don't laugh. I don't.

- Maya Angelou

source: "Maya Angelou: Best-Selling Poet Shares Story of Her Life and Work" by Brent Cunningham, www.buffalo.edu. April 30, 1998.

topic: Trust, Drinking, Laughing, Not Trusting, Chelsea

Don't trust a brilliant idea unless it survives the hangover.

- Jimmy Breslin

topic: Hangover, Ideas, Imagination, Brilliant Ideas, Don't Drink Alcohol

A man who drinks too much on occasion is still the same man as he was sober. An alcoholic, a real alcoholic, is not the same man at all. You can't predict anything about him for sure except that he will be someone you never met before.

- Raymond Chandler

source: Raymond Chandler (2002). “The Long Goodbye: A Novel”, p.169, Vintage Crime/Black Lizard

topic: Real, Drinking, Men, Alcoholism, Alcohol Addiction

The mentality and behavior of drug addicts and alcoholics is wholly irrational until you understand that they are completely powerless over their addiction and unless they have structured help, they have no hope.

- Russell Brand

topic: Drinking, Addiction, Alcohol, Inspirational Addiction Recovery, Inspirational Drug Recovery

Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.

- Charles Bukowski

topic: Suicide, Wall, Drinking, Killing Yourself, Day Drinking

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

- Ernest Hemingway

topic: Funny, Witty, Clever, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

- Robert A. Heinlein

source: Robert A. Heinlein (1987). “Time Enough for Love”, p.325, Penguin

topic: Missing You, Strong, Drinking, Strong Drink, Liquor Funny

I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it.

- Stonewall Jackson

source: Quoted by William Jones in The Life and Letters of Robert Edward Lee, Soldier and Man p. 443

topic: Alcohol, Taste, Drink, Liquor Funny, Drinking Funny

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Crazy, Book, Reading, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.

- William Butler Yeats

topic: Food, Drinking, Men, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.

- Adrian Rogers

topic: Sorry, People, Feels, Sorry Men, Praiseworthy

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

- Ogden Nash

topic: Drinking, Liquor, Candy, Funny Sarcastic, Perspiration

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

- Dave Barry

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Ale, Funny Sarcastic

When the wine goes in, strange things come out.

- Friedrich Schiller

topic: Drinking, Food, Wine, Alcoholism, Recovering Alcoholics

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.

- Carl Jung

topic: Drinking, Addiction, Funny Sarcastic, Inspirational Addiction Recovery, Morphine

Alcohol doesn't console, it doesn't fill up anyone's psychological gaps, all it replaces is the lack of God. It doesn't comfort man. On the contrary, it encourages him in his folly, it transports him to the supreme regions where he is master of his own destiny.

- Marguerite Duras

topic: Destiny, Men, Funny Sarcastic, Alcoholism, Frigidity

I am more afraid of King Alcohol than of all the bullets of the enemy.

- Stonewall Jackson

source: "Personal Reminiscences, Anecdotes, and Letters of Gen. Robert E. Lee". Book by John William Jones, 1874.

topic: Alcohol, Enemy, Bullets, Alcohol And Life

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

- Chelsea Handler

topic: Party, Drinking, Two, Chelsea, Don't Drink Alcohol

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

- Matt Groening

topic: Food, Humor, Alcohol, Drinking Problem, Funny Alcohol

I don't have a drinking problem 'Cept when I can't get a drink.

- Tom Waits

topic: Drinking, Alcohol, Problem, Don't Drink Alcohol, Drinking Cheers

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

- Raymond Chandler

topic: Drinking, Beer, Men, Liquor Funny, Don't Drink Alcohol

One sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delight, beyond the bliss of dreams.

- John Milton

topic: Dream, Drinking, Alcohol, Wine And Friends, Wine With Friends

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

- James Thurber

topic: Drinking, Beer, Two, Liquor Funny, Drinkers

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.

- Gilbert K. Chesterton

topic: Drinking, Alcohol, Literature, Gin, Drinkers

One key symptom of alcoholism is that the individual comes to need a drink for every mood-one to calm down, one to perk up, one to celebrate, one to deal with disappointment, and so on.

- Phyllis A. Balch

source: Phyllis A. Balch (2002). “Prescription for Herbal Healing”, p.179, Penguin

topic: Disappointment, Keys, Alcohol, Alcohol And Life

Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others. Even though it did this to me and it almost killed me and I haven't touched a drop of it in seventeen years, sometimes I wonder if I could get away with drinking some now. I totally subscribe to the notion that alcoholism is a mental illness because thinking like that is clearly insane.

- Craig Ferguson

topic: Money, Drinking, Heart, Alcohol And Life, Alcoholism Funny