Hilarious Love Quotes:

Love is a promise delivered already broken.

- Steve Martin

topic: Broken Heart, Love Is, Promise, Funny Anti Love, Funny Falling In Love

Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late'

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Anniversary, Funny Love, Real, Hilarious Love

"A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears."

- Woodrow Wyatt

source: To the Point (1981) p. 107

topic: Life, Falling In Love, Eye, Humorous Love, I Fall In Love

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Marriage, Men, Wife, Marriage Jokes, Marriage Speech

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.

- Maurice Chevalier

source: Quoted in Helen Handley, The Lover's Quotation Book (1986)

topic: Love, Girl, Men, Hilarious Love

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

- Walt Disney

topic: Love, Funny, Witty, Humorous Love, Minnie Mouse

My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there.

- Carrie Fisher

topic: Heart, Funny Relationship, Cuz, Right Place, Hilarious Love

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

- Charles M. Schulz

topic: Love, Witty, Hurt, Humor Love, Humorous Love

Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

- Woody Allen

source: "Love and Death". www.imdb.com. 1975.

topic: Movie Love, Suffering, Unhappy, Love Death, Hilarious Love

First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint the second time.

- Honore de Balzac

topic: First Love, Love Is, Men, Love At First Sight, Funniest Love

Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.

- George Burns

topic: Relationship, Love Is, Laughing, Humorous Love, Funniest Love

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Love, Funny, Understood, Lack Of Understanding, Men Women

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Funny, Marriage, Couple, Humorous Love, Marriage Humor

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.

- Pearl Bailey

topic: Love, Romantic, Valentines Day, Humor Love, Paperwork

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.

- Melanie Griffith

topic: Best Love, Women, Crazy, Humorous Love, Time Love

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

- Dorothy Parker

topic: Funny, Anniversary, Valentines Day, Humor Love, Humorous Love

Love is like war; easy to begin, hard to end.

- Ann Brashares

source: FaceBook post by Ann Brashares from Apr 08, 2013

topic: Life, Funny Love, War, War Love, Love Is Like

Well, you know, the definition of second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

- George Will

topic: Marriage, Funny Love, Definitions, Humorous Love, Marriage Humor

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.

- Joan Crawford

source: Interview in "Hollywood Reporter", 1954.

topic: Love, Heartbreak, Dream, Humor Love, Humorous Love

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.

- W. Somerset Maugham

topic: Love, Sarcastic, Depressing, Humorous Love, Dirty Business

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

- H. L. Mencken

topic: Love, Funny, Marriage, Humor Love, Humorous Love

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

- Jules Renard

topic: Love, Inspirational, Dream, Humorous Valentine, St Valentine

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

- Erich Segal

topic: Love, Inspiring, Valentines Day, Humor Love, Humorous Love

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.

- Fulton J. Sheen

topic: Love, Recovery, Self, Reciprocity, Inspirational Romance

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

- Chris Rock

source: Katharine Fullerton Gerould (1916). “Vain Oblations”

topic: Funny, Hilarious, Laughter, Funniest Love, Funny Women

A gentleman who had been very unhappy in marriage, married immediately after his wife died; it was the triumph of hope over experience.

- Samuel Johnson

source: Samuel Johnson, James Boswell (1825). “The Table Talk of Dr. Johnson: Comprising Opinions and Anecdotes of Life and Literature, Men, Manners, and Morals”, p.40

topic: Wife, Gentleman, Unhappy, Humorous Love, Marriage Humor

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

- H. L. Mencken

topic: Love, Anniversary, War, War Love, Love You Forever

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

- Lynda Barry

topic: Love, Cigar, Exploding, Humorous Love, Funniest Love

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

- George Burns

source: Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

topic: Love, Inspirational, Funny, Always Happy, Large Family

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

topic: Inspirational, Marriage, Men, Cynical Love, Anti Love

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.

- Patrick Murray

topic: Funny, Hilarious, Wife, Humorous Love, Marriage Jokes

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

- Bob Hope

topic: Love, Kissing, People, Wise Love, Cute Kissing

Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.

- Samuel Lover

source: William Bayle Bernard, Samuel Lover (1874). “The Life of Samuel Lover, R. H. A.: Artistic, Literary, and Musical, with Selections from His Unpublished Papers and Correspondence”, p.113

topic: Love, Heart, Pay, Love Letter, I Love You Like

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

- Milton Berle

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Love, Marriage, Husband, Humorous Love, Marriage Humor

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

- George Carlin

topic: Love, Funny, Cute Relationship, Funny Men And Women, Funny Women