source: FaceBook post by Maya Angelou from Mar 15, 2014
topic: Inspirational, Motivational, Positive, Way In Life, Make Me Feel Better

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
topic: Time, Food, Bird, Early Bird, Swiss Cheese

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
topic: Funny, Cute, Sarcastic, Old Jokes, Dark Sarcasm
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
topic: Funny, Clever, Hipster, Mimicry, Very Clever
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
topic: Inspirational, Funny, Motivational, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young
topic: Inspirational, Life, Positive, Frugality, Life Philosophy
I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
source: "Death: A Comedy in One Act". Book by Woody Allen, 1975.
topic: Inspirational, Funny, Life, Afraid Of Death, Meaningful Death
topic: Jobs, Thinking, New Job, Status Updates, Funny Bumper Sticker
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
topic: Eye, Giving, Life Gives You Lemons, Lemons, Funny Clever
Tough times never last, but tough people do.
source: Robert H. Schuller (1993). “Robert H Schuller: The Inspirational Writings : Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do/Tough Minded Faith for Tender Hearted People”, Bbs Publishing Corporation
topic: Motivational, Positive, Funny Inspirational, Daily Work, Just Stay Strong
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
source: Laurence J. Peter (1979). “Peter's people”, W. Morrow
topic: Funny, Witty, Revenge, Murphys Law, Making Excuses
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
topic: Love, Inspirational, Funny, Ale, Lager
The problems that exist in this world can not be solved by the level of thinking that created them.
topic: Inspiring, Leadership, Education, Solved Problems, Clever And Witty
topic: Funny, Hilarious, Laughter, Marriage Humor, Marriage Jokes
He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up
topic: Running, Clever, Spine, Life Humor, Classic Insult
Nixon's motto was, if two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
source: 1979 In the Daily Telegraph, 17 Jul.
topic: Math, Two, Personality, Clever And Witty, Funny Clever
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
topic: Funny, Life, Death, Humor Love, Dark Sarcasm
topic: Mind, Age, Matter, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
topic: Funny, Mom, Children, Having Kids, Vowels
Two wrongs don't make a right.
source: Roald Dahl (2016). “The GFG: The Guid Freendly Giant: The BFG in Scots”, p.145, Black & White Publishing
topic: Revenge, Humorous, Math, Making Excuses, Wise Proverbs
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
source: Twitter post from Oct 30, 2009
topic: Funny, Life, Wise, Silliness, Witty One Liners
topic: Funny, Girl, Witty, Math Is Like, Nice Girl
If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.
source: "The Wit & Wisdom of Harry Truman".
topic: Funny, Hilarious, Dog, Cat And Dog, Dog Best Friend
topic: Funny, Hilarious, Witty, Wordplay, Being Smart
My fans are so funny, they make me laugh so much. I've got some really, really, funny, clever fans.
topic: Clever, Laughing, Fans, Funny Clever
source: "White knuckle ride". Interview with Simon Hattenstone, www.theguardian.com. December 11, 2000.
topic: Beautiful, Clever, Self, Something Beautiful, Funny Clever
topic: Clever, People, Important, Funny Clever