Shots Drinking Quotes:

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

- Ernest Hemingway

topic: Funny, Witty, Clever, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

I drink to make other people more interesting.

- Ernest Hemingway

source: "How To Be Interesting: Simple Ways to Increase Your Personal Appeal". Book by David Gillespie, Mark Warren, 2013.

topic: Funny, Life, Drinking, Whisky, Ordinary People

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

- Ernest Hemingway

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Intelligent Man, Irish Beer

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

- Humphrey Bogart

topic: Book, Drinking, Beer, Irish Beer, Brewing

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

- George Burns

topic: Clever, Drinking, Drunk, Liquor Funny, Drinking And Driving

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

- Frank Sinatra

topic: Drinking, Beer, Men, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

- Mark Twain

topic: Drinking, Too Much, Sometimes, Day Drinking, Drinking Alcohol

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

- Brian O'Rourke

topic: Food, Fall, Drinking, Irish Beer, Irish Drinking

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

- Hunter S. Thompson

topic: Hate, Drinking, Beer, Funny Sarcastic, Insanity And Sanity

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

- George Gobel

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Drinking, Drunk, Day Drinking, Drinking Alcohol, Drinking Toast

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

- George Bernard Shaw

topic: Funny, Life, Drinking, Alcoholism, Funny Sarcastic

There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says 'Good people drink good beer.' Which is true, then as now. Just look around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see: Bad people drink bad beer. Think about it.

- Hunter S. Thompson

topic: Beer, Thinking, People, Brewing, Malt

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

- Drew Carey

topic: Funny, Sarcastic, Jobs, Liquor Funny, Support Groups

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Funny, Witty, Work, Irish Beer, Irish Drinking

I drink to make other people interesting.

- George Jean Nathan

source: George Jean Nathan, Charles Angoff (1998). “The World of George Jean Nathan: Essays, Reviews, & Commentary”, Hal Leonard Corporation

topic: Drinking, People, Interesting, Alcoholism, Liquor Funny

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

- Joe E. Lewis

source: Recalled on his death, 4 Jun1971.

topic: Funny, Camels, Drink, Funny Sarcastic, Strong Drink

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

- Winston Churchill

topic: Military, Taken, Drinking, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Love, Inspirational, Funny, Ale, Lager

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

- W. C. Fields

source: "The Temperance Lecture" (radio broadcast) (1938)

topic: Drinking, Alcohol, Done, Liquor Funny, Don't Drink Alcohol

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.

- Jean Kerr

topic: Drinking, Numbers, People, Liquor Funny, Recovering Alcoholics

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

- Frank Zappa

topic: Funny, Country, Football, Irish Beer, Brewing

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Crazy, Book, Reading, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

- Oscar Levant

source: "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

topic: Drinking, Envy, People, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

- Dean Martin

source: "Famous drinkers" by Rob Parker, www.theguardian.com. April 18, 2004.

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Funny Sarcastic, Inspirational Golf

Work like you don't need the money.

- Joseph Joubert

topic: Dance, Work, Hippie, Song And Dance, Play On Words

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.

- William Butler Yeats

topic: Food, Drinking, Men, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.

- Adrian Rogers

topic: Sorry, People, Feels, Sorry Men, Praiseworthy

Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

- George Bernard Shaw

source: Major Barbara (1907) act 2

topic: Morning, Drinking, Food, Shots Drinking

He that drinks fast, pays slow.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Drinking, Pay, Drink, Brewing, Don't Drink Alcohol

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

- Rodney Dangerfield

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Party, Drinking, Beer, Drank, Drinking Alcohol

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

- Dylan Thomas

source: Dictionary of 20th Century Quotations quoted by Nigel Rees. Fontana London (1987)

topic: Funny, Drinking, Wine, Soft Drinks, Alcoholism

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

- Dean Martin

source: In Paul Dickson Official Rules (1978) p. 112

topic: Clever, Lying, Humorous, Alcoholism, Drinkers

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

- Winston Churchill

topic: Drinking, Beer, Funny Sarcastic, Intervals, Rules Of Life

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

- W. C. Fields

topic: Funny, Drinking, Book, Drinking And Driving, Drinkers

No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink.

- Gilbert K. Chesterton

source: All Things Considered (1908) "Wine When it is Red"

topic: Drinking, Beer, Animal, Liquor Funny, Drunkenness

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

- Joe E. Lewis

topic: Drinking, Loss, Two, Irish Drinking, Day Drinking

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

- Lord Byron

topic: Drinking, Beer, Men, Alcoholism, Intoxication

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

- Henny Youngman

source: Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

topic: Good Life, Drinking, Grandmother, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.

- Robert Benchley

source: "The New Speaker's Treasury of Wit and Wisdom". Book by Herbert Victor Prochnow, 1958.

topic: Drinking, People, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Liquor Funny

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

- Ambrose Bierce

source: The Devil's Dictionary

topic: Motivational, Drinking, Beer, Power And Control, Abstaining

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

- Dave Barry

source: "Vegetable Magnetism" by Dave Barry, www.washingtonpost.com. March 17, 1991.

topic: Fun, Drinking, Book, Ale, Lager