George Burns quotes
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“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.”
-- George Burns -
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
-- George Burns -
“I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.”
-- George Burns -
“Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”
-- George Burns -
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“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
-- George Burns -
“First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.”
-- George Burns -
“Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.”
-- George Burns -
“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.”
-- George Burns -
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“People are always asking me when I'm going to retire. Why should I? I've got it two ways - I'm still making movies, and I'm a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.”
-- George Burns -
“You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.”
-- George Burns -
“I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.”
-- George BurnsSource : George Burns (1980). “Living It Up”, Berkley
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“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”
-- George Burns -
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“Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”
-- George Burns -
“Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.”
-- George BurnsSource : "It's a Great Deal, All Three of Me Think So". Book by Bruce A. Rosenblat, 2009.
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“Age to me means nothing. I can't get old; I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.”
-- George Burns -
“When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.”
-- George Burns -
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“You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.”
-- George BurnsSource : Joan Collins (2006). “The Art of Living Well: Looking Good, Feeling Great”, Sourcebooks Incorporated
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“Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left”
-- George Burns -
“Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman ... or a bad woman.”
-- George Burns -
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“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.”
-- George Burns -
“Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.”
-- George Burns -
“I smoke cigars because at my age if I don't have something to hang on to I might fall down.”
-- George Burns -
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“With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.”
-- George Burns -
“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”
-- George BurnsSource : George Burns (1986). “Dear George: advice & answers from America's leading expert on everything from A to B”, G K Hall & Co
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“Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.”
-- George Burns -
“I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.”
-- George Burns -
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“If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to his funeral.”
-- George Burns -
“I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.”
-- George Burns -
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“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.”
-- George Burns -
“And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'”
-- George Burns -
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
-- George BurnsSource : Quoted in Life, Dec. 1979
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“People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.”
-- George Burns -
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“I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.”
-- George Burns#Inspirational Quotes #Care Quotes #Inspirational Success Quotes
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