source: "SXSW ’12: Mark Mothersbaugh Confirms He’s Scoring ‘Lego,’ Talks Working On Wes Anderson’s ‘Bottle Rocket’ & More" by Drew Taylor, www.indiewire.com. March 14, 2012.

topic: Thinking, Tape, Attention, Answering Machines

The telephone is the greatest single enemy of scholarship; for what our intellectual forebears used to inscribe in ink now goes once over a wire into permanent oblivion.

- Stephen Jay Gould

source: Stephen Jay Gould (2010). “An Urchin in the Storm: Essays about Books and Ideas”, p.75, W. W. Norton & Company

topic: Humorous, Phones, Intellectual, Answering Machines

It is not rude to turn off your telephone by switching it on to an answering machine, which is cheaper and less disruptive than ripping it out of the wall. Those who are offended because they cannot always get through when they seek, at their own convenience, to barge in on people are suffering from a rude expectation.

- Judith Martin

topic: Wall, People, Expectations, Switching, Barges

Screening telephone calls with a receptionist or the humbler answering machine is not a dishonorable thing to do. The warmest people in the world still need uninterrupted time to attend to their lives and should not be outwitted if they have made it obvious that they are not always available upon summons.

- Judith Martin

topic: People, Needs, Machines, Dishonorable, Receptionists

Texting is a lot like an answering machine. If you don't want to talk to somebody, it's like screening your calls. To me, it's a way of communication, but not one that I favor.

- Pat Gillick

topic: Communication, Machines, Texting, Answering Machines

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

- Fran Lebowitz

topic: Humorous, Drinking, Memorable, Answering Machines

People ask me to record their answering machines all the time. I love it. It's a miracle to me that people want to hear back those characters.

- Mike Myers

topic: Character, People, Miracle, Answering Machines

Experiencing yourself out of context, divorced from your usual point of view, skews your perspective – it’s like hearing your voice on an answering machine. It’s almost like meeting a stranger; or discovering a talent you never knew you had.

- Slash

source: Slash (2012). “Slash: The Autobiography”, p.39, HarperCollins UK

topic: Views, Voice, Perspective, Answering Machines, Of Context

You've reached Fantasia, where the undead live again every night," "For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to alive person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you.

- Charlaine Harris

source: Charlaine Harris (2003). “Dead in Dixie”

topic: Humorous, Party, Night, Pranks, Undead

I think about the automobile, I think about like, when I was a kid, you know, the invention of the answering machine, which I was like, 'Wow.' Or call waiting, which was, like, very big. It was a very big thing. Call waiting was a very big thing. And these incremental innovations happen constantly.

- Ashton Kutcher

topic: Kids, Thinking, Waiting, Answering Machines

The dead have no ears, no answering machines that we know of, still we call.

- Bob Hicok

source: Bob Hicok (2013). “Elegy Owed”, p.53, Copper Canyon Press

topic: Grieving, Machines, Ears, Answering Machines

In hell, all the messages you ever left on answering machines will be played back to you.

- Judy Horacek

topic: Machines, Messages, Hell, Answering Machines

No one is calling me. I can’t check the answering machine because I have been here all this time. If I go out, someone may call while I’m out. Then I can check the answering machine when I come back in.

- Lydia Davis

source: Lydia Davis (2007). “Varieties of Disturbance: Stories”, p.86, Macmillan

topic: Machines, Calling, May, Answering Machines

Not saving you from this storm, mutant,” he said. “Saving you for your later fate, we are.” His voice was weirdly inflected and metallic, like an automated answering machine. “Oh, good. Yoda captured us,” Fang whispered.

- James Patterson

source: James Patterson (2008). “Maximum Ride: The Final Warning”, p.226, Random House

topic: Fate, Voice, Storm, Metallic, Answering Machines

I let it ring. I wanted to breathe for a few minutes, and I could think of nothing that couldn't wait. Besides, I had paid almost $50 for an answering machine. Let it earn its keep.

- Jeff Lindsay

topic: Thinking, Waiting, Machines, Answering Machines

I'm definitely a child of the 21st century and I prefer texting to phone calls, but I would prefer an answering machine over all.

- Brendan Dooling

source: Source: www.seventeen.com

topic: Children, Phones, Machines, Answering Machines

Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."

- Jim Gaffigan

topic: Funny, Cutting, Machines, Answering Machines

Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.

- Janeane Garofalo

topic: Phones, Drunk, Advice, Answering Machines

I'm not an answering machine, I'm a questioning machine. If we have all the answers, how come we're in such as mess?

- Douglas Cardinal

topic: Machines, Answers, Questioning, Answering Machines

Only two things change when you get older: the energy in your voice and the time of night you feel it's appropriate to call someone. In your 20s, people call at 2 a.m. and yell, 'Are you up?' into the answering machine. Now, someone calls after 8 p.m., and my boyfriend is like, 'Who is that? Who could be calling at this hour?'

- Michael Patrick King

topic: Night, Two, Voice, Answering Machines

Like most people, you listen to yourself on the phone or an answering machine and you're like, 'Ugh.' So to do something with just your voice is hard.

- Angelina Jolie

source: Interview with Jeff Otto, www.ign.com. September 15, 2004.

topic: Phones, Voice, People, Answering Machines

All the new technology seems redundant to me. I was quite happy with the United States mail service. And, I don't even have an answering machine, for God's sake.

- Kurt Vonnegut

source: "Now" with David Brancaccio, www.pbs.org. October 21, 2005.

topic: Technology, United States, Machines, New Technology, Answering Machines

I think people who aren't in film experience that when they hear their voice on an answering machine or something.

- Natalie Portman

source: "Natalie Portman talks directing her first movie and why you'll never see her on social media". Interview with Jason Guerrasio, www.businessinsider.com. August 17, 2016.

topic: Thinking, Voice, People, Answering Machines

I'm very interested in the way the Internet has changed teenage life. Obviously it's very different from when I grew up, when there weren't even answering machines, much less computers. I was telling my children this the other day, and the little one said, "Did you have electricity, Mom?" and I was like okay, enough, kid.

- Jennifer Egan

source: "Jennifer Egan’s Novel Approach". Interview with Kiera Butler, www.motherjones.com. May 27, 2010.

topic: Mom, Teenage, Children, Teenage Life, Answering Machines

I'm not good at texting because I'm an older generation, old school. And nobody ever listens to the answering machine anymore. It's terrible.

- Igor Levit

source: Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

topic: School, Generations, Machines, Older Generation, Answering Machines

I remember a few years ago I was sitting at home with my wife watching the Oscars. I was sitting on the couch and suddenly heard my voice. It's thrilling. It's interesting that a lot of guys do me. I have a friend who does me on his answering machine so when I call him I talk to myself. I don't really know what that comes from. It doesn't seem to me that I speak in a strange way. My wife says Kevin's (Spacey) the best.

- Christopher Walken

topic: Home, Years, Voice, Answering Machines

I do have a huge problem, a huge problem. In fact, worse than watching is hearing. I cannot stand to hear my own voice. When it's coming out of my mouth right now it sounds fantastically interesting to me. It's rich in light and shade, it goes up and down. But when I hear it either on TV or even on someone's answering machine, I just sound like I've had half my brain removed.

- Hugh Laurie

source: Source: www.pbs.org

topic: Voice, Light, Interesting, Answering Machines

One son appears in stereo - a transistor in one ear and the phone in the other.

- Erma Bombeck

source: Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Erma Bombeck Collection: If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?, Motherhood, and The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.497, Open Road Media

topic: Humorous, Son, Phones, Transistors, Answering Machines

I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.

- Steven Wright

topic: Home, Phones, Machines, Answering Machines

It's great to just disappear, grab a suitcase, switch the answering machine on and just go somewhere else.

- Dido Armstrong

topic: Machines, Suitcases, Disappear, Answering Machines

Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.

- Erma Bombeck

source: Erma Bombeck (2013). “Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession”, p.64, Open Road Media

topic: Girl, Humorous, Phones, Baked Goods, Answering Machines

I don't answer the phone. I get the feeling whenever I do that there will be someone on the other end.