Cocktail Drinks Quotes:

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

- Ernest Hemingway

topic: Funny, Witty, Clever, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Funny, Drinking, Food, Brewing, Drinkers

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

- Ernest Hemingway

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Intelligent Man, Irish Beer

Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

- Mark Twain

topic: Alcohol, Too Much, Whiskey, Scotch Whisky, Whisky

One sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delight, beyond the bliss of dreams.

- John Milton

topic: Dream, Drinking, Alcohol, Wine And Friends, Wine With Friends

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

- George Burns

topic: Clever, Drinking, Drunk, Liquor Funny, Drinking And Driving

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

- James Thurber

topic: Drinking, Beer, Two, Liquor Funny, Drinkers

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

- Robert A. Heinlein

source: Robert A. Heinlein (1987). “Time Enough for Love”, p.325, Penguin

topic: Missing You, Strong, Drinking, Strong Drink, Liquor Funny

There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.

- Bette Davis

source: "Fictional character: Kit Marlowe". "Old Acquaintance", www.imdb.com. 1943.

topic: Drinking, Wine, Glasses, Women And Wine, Wine And Love

We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.

- David Sedaris

source: David Sedaris (2010). “Naked”, p.175, Hachette UK

topic: Drinking, Healing, Emotional, Drinks And Love, Cocktail Drinks

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

- Frank Sinatra

topic: Drinking, Beer, Men, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

- George Bernard Shaw

topic: Funny, Life, Drinking, Alcoholism, Funny Sarcastic

Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

topic: Drinking, Wine, Too Much, Scotch Whisky, Whisky

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

- Henny Youngman

source: Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

topic: Good Life, Drinking, Grandmother, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

topic: New Year, Drinking, Beer, Inspirational Addiction Recovery, Liquor Funny

My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.

- Ernest Hemingway

topic: Regret, Food, Wine, Vineyards, Sparkling

Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

- Dudley Moore

topic: Drinking, Funny Drinking, Drink, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

- Dean Martin

source: "Famous drinkers" by Rob Parker, www.theguardian.com. April 18, 2004.

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Funny Sarcastic, Inspirational Golf

I drink Champagne when I win, to celebrate...and I drink Champagne when I lose, to console myself.

- Napoleon Bonaparte

topic: Drinking, Winning, Celebrate, Champagne Drinking, Drinking Champagne

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

- George Carlin

topic: Funny, Sarcastic, Witty, Tequila, Cocktail Drinks

I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.

- Adrian Rogers

topic: Sorry, People, Feels, Sorry Men, Praiseworthy

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Crazy, Book, Reading, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Funny, Witty, Work, Irish Beer, Irish Drinking

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

- Drew Carey

topic: Funny, Sarcastic, Jobs, Liquor Funny, Support Groups

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

- Oscar Levant

source: "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

topic: Drinking, Envy, People, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

- Dave Barry

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Ale, Funny Sarcastic

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

- Lord Byron

topic: Drinking, Beer, Men, Alcoholism, Intoxication

Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.

- Graham Greene

topic: Truth, Lying, Wine, Best Wine, Liquor Funny

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

- Frank Zappa

topic: Funny, Country, Football, Irish Beer, Brewing

Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third.

- Knute Rockne

topic: Drinking, Alcohol, Firsts, Skip, Drinking Alcohol

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.

- William Butler Yeats

topic: Food, Drinking, Men, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.

- Jean Kerr

topic: Drinking, Numbers, People, Liquor Funny, Recovering Alcoholics

No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink.

- Gilbert K. Chesterton

source: All Things Considered (1908) "Wine When it is Red"

topic: Drinking, Beer, Animal, Liquor Funny, Drunkenness

I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.

- Bette Midler

topic: Drinking, Drunk, Perspective, Drinking Alcohol, Drinking Party

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

- Raymond Chandler

topic: Drinking, Beer, Men, Liquor Funny, Don't Drink Alcohol

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

- W. C. Fields

source: "The Temperance Lecture" (radio broadcast) (1938)

topic: Drinking, Alcohol, Done, Liquor Funny, Don't Drink Alcohol

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.

- Robert Benchley

source: "The New Speaker's Treasury of Wit and Wisdom". Book by Herbert Victor Prochnow, 1958.

topic: Drinking, People, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Liquor Funny

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

- Phyllis Diller

topic: Fall, Drinking, Falling Down, Liquor Funny, Drinking Funny

If all be true that I do think, There are five reasons we should drink: Good wine - a friend - or being dry - Or lest we should be by and by - Or any other reason why.

- Henry Aldrich

source: 'Reasons for Drinking'

topic: Drinking, Wine, Thinking, Wine And Friends, Wine With Friends

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

- W. C. Fields

topic: Food, Drinking, Beer, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

- Jack Lemmon

topic: Funny, Music, Morning, Sorry Men, Irish Beer

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

- Winston Churchill

topic: Military, Taken, Drinking, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

- Ogden Nash

topic: Drinking, Liquor, Candy, Funny Sarcastic, Perspiration