Retirement Wishes Quotes:

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.

- Jonathan Clements

topic: Running, Retirement, Vacation, Inspirational Retirement, Long Vacation

Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.

- Ernest Hemingway

topic: Retirement, Work, Age, Inspirational Retirement, Retirement Card

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left

- George Burns

topic: Aging, Retiring, Shows, Inspirational Retirement, Funny Retirement

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.

- Chi Chi Rodriguez

topic: Husband, Men, Wife, Inspirational Retirement, Retired Teacher

A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.

- Ella Harris

topic: Jobs, Husband, Wife, Inspirational Retirement, Funny Retirement

Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

- Gene Perret

topic: Teacher, Retirement, Nice, Inspirational Retirement, Funny Retirement

I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income.

- Gene Perret

topic: Teacher, Retirement, Income, Funny Retirement, Retirement Humor

Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.

- Malcolm Forbes

topic: Retirement, Hard Work, People, Inspirational Retirement, Retirement Farewell

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.

- R. C. Sherriff

topic: Men, Age, Matter, Inspirational Retirement, Retirement Card

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.

- George Foreman

topic: Sports, Age, Income, Inspirational Retirement, Funny Retirement

Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire.

- Samuel Johnson

topic: Inspirational, Sorry, Thinking, Developing, Personal Growth And Development

Eating's going to be a whole new ball game. I may even have to buy a new pair of trousers.

- Lester Piggott

topic: Retirement, Games, Balls, Retirement Wishes

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.

- H. H. Asquith

source: In Observer 15 Apr. 1923

topic: Birthday, Would Be, Littles, Funny Retirement, Wise Birthday

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.

- A. A. Milne

topic: Happiness, Appreciation, Retirement, Always Happy, Joy Happiness

For retirement brings repose, and repose allows a kindly judgment of all things.

- John Sharp Williams

topic: Retirement, Funny Retirement, Judgment, Inspirational Retirement, Retirement Wishes

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

- Dean Martin

source: "Famous drinkers" by Rob Parker, www.theguardian.com. April 18, 2004.

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Funny Sarcastic, Inspirational Golf

As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning.

- Earl Nightingale

topic: Inspirational, Retirement, Successful, Inspirational Retirement, Retirement Humor

The Republican Party is a friend of Social Security the way Colonel Sanders was a friend of chickens.

- Charles Taylor Manatt

topic: Retirement, Party, Way, Colonels, Funny Retirement

Thoughts on the Merits of Work The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work.

- Gilbert K. Chesterton

topic: Retirement, People, Merit, Funny Retirement, Retirement Wishes

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

- William Wordsworth

topic: Sports, Retirement, Golf, Inspirational Golf, Funny Retirement

I really stay busy [in retirement]. I often have to cancel my golf games on the weekends to go play in tennis tournaments.

- Richard Davies

topic: Retirement, Golf, Weekend, Inspirational Retirement, Retirement Homes

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

- Samuel Johnson

topic: Wisdom, Funny Retirement, Wealth, Retirement Card, Retirement Party

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.

- Phyllis Diller

topic: Retirement, Real, Golf, Funny Golf, Funny Golfing

When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.

- Gene Perret

topic: Retirement, Boss, Age, Funny Retirement, Retirement Card

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

- Germaine Greer

topic: Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness, Humorous Birthday, Mature And Immature

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.

- John Lubbock

topic: Inspirational, Success, Summer, Inspirational Nature, Inspirational Retirement

Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.

- Francis Bacon

topic: Wine, Old Friends, Age, Best Wine, Old Wine

In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire.

- Charles Francis Adams, Sr.

source: Diary entry, April 15, 1836.

topic: Country, Retirement, Long, Funny Retirement, Retirement Homes

I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.

- Voltaire

source: Voltaire (1949). “The portable Voltaire”

topic: Life, Retirement, Age, Inspirational Age, Funny Retirement

How blest is he who crowns in shades like these A youth of labour with an age of ease!

- Oliver Goldsmith

source: 'The Deserted Village' (1770) l. 99

topic: Retirement, Age, Crowns, Inspirational Retirement, Retirement Age

Don't act your age in retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been.

- John Anthony West

topic: Teacher, Retirement, Age, Inspirational Retirement, Retirement Wishes

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

- George Burns

topic: Hilarious, Retirement, Ties, Stoops, Funny Retirement

There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit... Retire!

- Groucho Marx

source: "Fictional character: Captain Jeffrey Spaulding". "Animal Crackers", August 20, 1930.

topic: Retirement, Work, Age, Retired Teacher, Retirement Farewell

Preparation for old age should begin not later than one's teens. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement.

- Dwight L. Moody

topic: Death, Retirement, Prayer, Inspirational Retirement, Funny Retirement

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

- Gene Perret

topic: Retirement, Worry, Age, Inspirational Retirement, Funny Retirement

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."

- Gene Perret

topic: Retirement, Home, Forever, Inspirational Retirement, Funny Retirement

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.

- Gene Perret

topic: Success, Retirement, Age, Inspirational Retirement, Funny Retirement

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.

- Gene Perret

topic: Inspirational, Retirement, Stress, Inspirational Retirement, Funny Retirement

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

- Laurence J. Peter

topic: Retirement, Fun, Age, Retirement Age, Retirement Card

A man can't retire his experience.

- Bernard Baruch

topic: Men, Experience, Retiring, Ciphers, Inspirational Retirement

Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can't retire his experience. He must use it. Experience achieves more with less energy and time.

- Bernard Baruch

topic: Teacher, Retirement, Numbers, Ciphers, Inspirational Retirement

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

- Jim Bishop

topic: Funny, Retirement, Native American, Inspirational Golf, Motivational Golf

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

- George Burns

topic: Funny, Witty, Teacher, Inspirational Retirement, Funny Retirement

Good teachers know how to bring out the best in students.

- Charles Kuralt

topic: Teacher, Literature, Students, Retirement Wishes, Teacher Appreciation

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

- Abe Lemons

topic: Retirement, Days Off, Trouble, Inspirational Retirement, Funny Retirement

The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.

- Vince Lombardi

topic: Inspirational, Motivational, Basketball, Favorite Sports, Inspirational Commitment

Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working, then tired of not.

- Richard Armour

topic: Teacher, Retirement, Tired, Funny Retirement, Retired Teacher

There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them.

- Sylvia Plath

topic: Inspirational, Sad, Women, Inspirational Stress Relief, Stress Management

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

- Will Rogers

topic: Funny, Life, Wisdom, Managing Time, Time Spent