Beer Drinking Quotes:

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

- Ogden Nash

topic: Drinking, Liquor, Candy, Funny Sarcastic, Perspiration

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.

- Jack Nicholson

topic: Beer, World, Drink, Drunkenness, Drinking Alcohol

Homer no function beer well without.

- Matt Groening

topic: Beer, Ale, Funny Simpsons, Drinking Beer, Funniest Simpsons

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

- Henny Youngman

source: Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

topic: Good Life, Drinking, Grandmother, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

- Humphrey Bogart

topic: Book, Drinking, Beer, Irish Beer, Brewing

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

- Jimmy Breslin

source: Jimmy Breslin (1986). “Table money”

topic: Drinking, Food, Beer, Strong Personality, Quit Drinking

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

- George Bernard Shaw

topic: Life, Atheist, Beer, Credulity, Just Believe

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

- Arnold Schwarzenegger

topic: Inspirational, Baby, Motivational Sports, Motivational Bodybuilding, Drinkers

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

- Frank Sinatra

topic: Drinking, Beer, Men, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

- W. Clement Stone

topic: Funny, Witty, Humorous, Lunch Break, Free Lunch

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

- Dean Martin

source: In Paul Dickson Official Rules (1978) p. 112

topic: Clever, Lying, Humorous, Alcoholism, Drinkers

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.

- Dave Moulton

topic: Beer, Cold, Drinking Beer, Drinking Whiskey, Cold Beer

In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.

- Tina Fey

topic: Sorry, Drinking, Beer, Irish Beer, Funny Beer

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

- Dean Martin

source: "Famous drinkers" by Rob Parker, www.theguardian.com. April 18, 2004.

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Funny Sarcastic, Inspirational Golf

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

- George Bernard Shaw

topic: Funny, Life, Drinking, Alcoholism, Funny Sarcastic

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

- Jack Lemmon

topic: Funny, Music, Morning, Sorry Men, Irish Beer

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

- Henry Lawson

topic: Party, Drinking, Beer, Irish Beer, Brewing

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

- Dylan Thomas

source: Dictionary of 20th Century Quotations quoted by Nigel Rees. Fontana London (1987)

topic: Funny, Drinking, Wine, Soft Drinks, Alcoholism

They who drink beer will think beer.

- Washington Irving

topic: Funny, Witty, Drinking, Drinkers, Whiskey Drinking

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

- Oscar Levant

source: "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

topic: Drinking, Envy, People, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

I drink to make other people interesting.

- George Jean Nathan

source: George Jean Nathan, Charles Angoff (1998). “The World of George Jean Nathan: Essays, Reviews, & Commentary”, Hal Leonard Corporation

topic: Drinking, People, Interesting, Alcoholism, Liquor Funny

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

- George Burns

topic: Clever, Drinking, Drunk, Liquor Funny, Drinking And Driving

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

- Lord Byron

topic: Drinking, Beer, Men, Alcoholism, Intoxication

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

- Drew Carey

topic: Funny, Sarcastic, Jobs, Liquor Funny, Support Groups

I've only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.

- Sid Vicious

topic: Love, Beer, Mirrors, Brewing, Light Beer

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

- James Thurber

topic: Drinking, Beer, Two, Liquor Funny, Drinkers

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Crazy, Book, Reading, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

- Dave Barry

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Ale, Funny Sarcastic

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

- Frank Zappa

topic: Funny, Country, Football, Irish Beer, Brewing

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Funny, Witty, Work, Irish Beer, Irish Drinking

There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Funny, Drinking, Food, Brewing, Drinkers

Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

- Dudley Moore

topic: Drinking, Funny Drinking, Drink, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.

- Thomas Jefferson

topic: Cheer, Drinking, Beer, Brewing, Malt

I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.

- John Huston

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Thinking, Drunk, Alcohol, Liquor Funny, Drinking Alcohol

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

- Winston Churchill

topic: Funny, Beauty, Sarcastic, Alcoholism, Funny Good Morning

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

- W. C. Fields

topic: Drinking, Beer, Reality, Drinking Beer, Drinking Funny

I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.

- Adrian Rogers

topic: Sorry, People, Feels, Sorry Men, Praiseworthy

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

- Kinky Friedman

topic: Beauty, Philosophy, Eye, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

I recommend...bread, meat, vegetables, and beer.

- Sophocles

topic: Beer, Vegetables, Bread, Craft Beer, Beer Drinking

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

- W. C. Fields

topic: Inspirational, Funny, Believe, Drinking Beer, Drinking Party

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

- Brian O'Rourke

topic: Food, Fall, Drinking, Irish Beer, Irish Drinking

Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs.

- Dwight D. Eisenhower

topic: Inspirational, Success, Dog, Beer Drinking, Hot Dog

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

- Finley Peter Dunne

topic: Men, Alcohol, Facts, Alcoholism, Drinking Funny

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group". Salvation in a can!

- Leo Durocher

topic: Beer, Support, Six Packs, Support Groups, Whiskey Drinking

A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

- Matt Groening

topic: Mother, Beer, Smell, Drinkers, Drinking Funny

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Love, Inspirational, Funny, Ale, Lager

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

- Ernest Hemingway

topic: Funny, Witty, Clever, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off.

- Raymond Chandler

source: The Long Goodbye ch. 4 (1953)

topic: Girl, Drinking, Beer, Funny Sarcastic, Kissing A Girl

You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.

- Adolphus Busch

topic: Beer, Glasses, Matter, Brewing, Drinking Beer

We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old.

- Martin Luther

topic: Strong, Beer, Milk, Brewing, Drinking Beer